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Hey everyone, I am brand new to this sight.  I have had Ulcerative Colitis for 20 years and am a very worn out 31 year old.  I am here because for the first time in years I am facing one of the worst flares I can remember (thanks antibiotics!) and unfortunately this time it is not just physical.

I think we sometimes forget, especially those of us fortunate enough to stay healthy for long periods of time, the depression that can come with a flare.  And I am SO feeling it.  The soul crushing heaviness that you can physically feel down to your bones.  Getting out of bed takes a personal pep talk, being at work is really just showing up and hoping I do enough to get by, and personal isolation because it is easier then "complaining" about something no one in my life truly understands.  So I am here to share.

But more than anything I need to take this moment to reach out and remind you (whoever I can reach to read this) that we aren't alone.  We aren't complaining.  We are doing the best we can do in a shit situation.  I am acknowledging our pain, our fear, our feeling of hopelessness, our loneliness. I am more than my UC and the thoughts I cannot control, and so are you.  With Love and Hope XX

Reply posted for JeRyan31.

Es war wirklich spannend, deinen Beitrag zu lesen. Zu deiner Anligegen kann ich dir raten es zu versuchen 

Reply posted for JeRyan31.

I've dealt with anxiety and depression for the most of my adult life. People frequently say, "I never would have predicted that about you," when they learn about my challenges. mapquest driving directions

Reply posted for JeRyan31.

Hello there, be strong, the bright times are coming soon. Blog bellow has few very nice topics on IBD and psychology, make sure to check it out, it might cheer you up :)

https://lifestyler.org.uk

Reply posted for JeRyan31.

As my dr told me last week, majority of the depression is from the Crohn's.  Crohn's affects you from head to toe. I am not a fan of meds but sometimes we need them to get our mind clear.  I have found that the word "chronic" is the key to most depression.  Depression has many parts.  Most people dont do what they have to do to clean up their surroundings, meaning, dont let people drain you, dont get caught up in drams, do ONLY what your body will allow you to do.  Sometimes we have to stay away from others that are creating an unhealthy enviroment....family included.  I have found that having a DR you can trust is really the key as well.  We are sad for no reason, we cry for no reason..... Remember, its this disease.  Positive thinking is hard for us, but you have to do it along with help from others.  Crohn's '98
Remicade '06, wheelchair bound from that
Surgery '09
God be with you all

Reply posted for JeRyan31.

I was diagnosed with crohns officially for over 4 years now. I tried everything to get better without the medication and now im stuck on Remicade. I am not sure if its just my disease catching up to me emotionally or its Remicade making me depressed.  

Not giving up, I attempted 3 different antidepressant and couldnt tolerate it. It just made things worse. 

Next step is seek a therapist, but not very optimistic. 

My crohns is on track thanks to Remicade, but apparently i have Irritable bowel and its causing me problems. Glad there is a forum out there for us. 

Reply posted for Rachaelmw.

I totally understand. I've had CD for like 10 yrs and underwent very complicated and high risk surgery in the Fall 2016.  Now have colostomy and removed appendix and had peritonitis unknown to everyone.  Now, 8 months later I have to have complex complete abdominal wall reconstruction due to a very large hernia.  Very depressed due to the previous surgery where I crashed and almost did not make it.  I'm a very busy and successful trial lawyer and don't know if I can take a second serious complex surgery.  Trying to take it one day at a time.

Reply posted for amsanto14.

I'm new to this forum and I'm so glad there are others out there experiencing the same things (I mean obviously it sucks) but knowing that I'm not alone is a comfort and I'm 20 years old this is my first flare. I've been becoming stressed and on the verge of having a nervous break thinking about the things I'm going through and the battles I'm facing. I have a surgery coming up to have a bowel to skin fistula removed and I'll have an ostomy bag for 3 months. I have a pick line and will be getting TPN for weight and nutrition while I heal. I'm scared but I'm staying positive. I'm a firm believer in Jesus Christ and i know he's got this but it's scary I've never been through this before and after 7 months of no working and trying to heal I'm ready to be done. Guess I'm looking for words encouragement from fellow crohns patients .

Reply posted for JeRyan31.

I completely relate to this post. I was diagnosed with Crohn's at 18 years old and my life has been a roller coaster of so many emotions ever since. I have anxiety from this disease due to my
nervousness around never knowing when my illness is going to flare up again or if I'll be lucky enough to remain in remission for a little while longer. When I do get flare ups I get into a real bad place emotionally. I cry a lot out of frustration because I can't do normal
every day activities that other "normal" people can do. I get upset because I feel so alone sometimes like no one truly gets what's going on with me, not even my family.  This discussion board helps me a great deal because we all know what it's like. We all are experiencing shitty things that happen to us, together. It just sucks to feel like I can't talk about it or anything and feel as though I have to act tough and just keep pushing through even though sometimes I just don't want to act tough anymore. I feel like we are some of the toughest people around because outsiders don't understand because they can't "see it" so to them it doesn't exist?? So frustrating. However, this post made me feel a lot better and lets me know I'm not alone feeling these feelings. Thank you so much for posting this.