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IBD and trauma

Wed, April 13, 2022 9:10 AM

Hi all! I've had Crohn's since 2014 with my most recent flare being about a year ago. My GI tract has healed but I'm still dealing with a lot of trauma. Doctor's visits are hell. I can't visit the hospital for follow ups without having a panic attack in the car. But what has really hurt the most is that I have a similar response to my partner touching me. It's as if my brain has decided sex hurts because Crohn's hurts. If you can imagine your brain going 'don't have sex, don't touch, don't even think about it or you die in hospital,' that's the association my brain has made. Does anyone else have issues just being a person after chronic illness?

Janeliza
Joined Apr 13, 2022

Wed, August 09, 2023 5:45 PM

Reply posted for Janeliza.

I so sorry for what you and the others are going through and I hope you are feeling better physically and emotionally. I will be upfront with people I date so that if they are not compassionate I will know they are not right for me. It is important to educate people about this disease because the more that know, the less it becomes a stigma or something embarrassing people don't want to talk about. You know it was like that with breast cancer before people got together and did walks and events to educate others and now everyone fellows comfortable to talk about it.

Continue to reach out to others, join supports groups and speak to a counselor.

lbk0213
Joined Aug 31, 2022

Fri, March 10, 2023 12:26 PM

Reply posted for Janeliza.

I also have general intimacy isses related to Crohn's disease as I find it difficult to bond with a partner knowing how my disorder will affect them in many way and struggling to subject someone to that (even though logically I know I'm not a burden, etc, its the trauma/PTSD talking).

Thelma Monah
Joined Mar 10, 2023

Fri, April 29, 2022 2:58 PM

Reply posted for Janeliza.

Yes, I definitely have trauma about being intimiately touched after all of my Crohn's stuff.

I've explained it as having everything in your abdomen hurt (such as after a severe stomach flu) and then stuffing something in there and swizzling it all around or jamming into it over and over (graphic, but effective at conveying the feeling), adn then being afraid of that pain. I also have fears that somehow it will trigger things to hurt again.

I also have general intimacy isses related to Crohn's disease as I find it difficult to bond with a partner knowing how my disorder will affect them in many way and struggling to subject someone to that (even though logically I know I'm not a burden, etc, its the trauma/PTSD talking). The best relationship I've had has actually been with someone who had their own chronic helath condition for a long time as well (juvenile cancer) and he was incredibly understanding and supportive -- he was still suffering at 30 with the side effects of his chemo/radiation as a preteen so we both found a lot of relief in being about to complain or rant or discuss our feeling about it freely with someone who understood fully.

I even have trauma related to my symptoms before I was diagnosed-- I had partners think I was being dramatic or using stomachaches as a way to "get out of" having sex like the old "I have a headache" excuse. I also had a partner tell me there was no reason to take me out to dinner because I didn't eat enough to warrant it (even though I would always bring leftovers home and eat them). As a boundary I set for myself, I refuse to have going to for a mean to be an early date in the start of a relationship because of the anxiety I feel around it (what if my stomach is upset, what if i end up w diarrhea afterward, what if what if what if). I'm not opposed to getting food later on as part of the date (deciding off the cuff to get food after doing something else) but the pressure of a meal stresses me out.