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When someone asks (especially just an acquaintance) what you "have" that makes you so sick, I really don't know how to reply.  I don't feel comfortable saying " I have UC" which in turn raises another question from the person asking "what is that?".   I really don't feel like telling people the specifics of this disease.  I was thinking I could say "it's a medical condition I don't feel comfortable talking about"  but that sounds odd and the person asking would probably really start wondering what the problem is.  I'm about ready to just say " I sh*t blood"...but haven't had the nerve to do that yet :)

Does anyone have a good response for people that ask why you have been sick or what has made you sick? 

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

I've had no problem telling most of my friends and family that I sh*t blood.  I find that a total lack of dignity is really a strength when it comes to living with Crohns!  Around people I don't know, I'll either say "I broke my behind" or "I've had stomach problems."  They are free to interpret that in any way they wish.

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

Thanks for the question. I too never know what to say. I think a chronic condition that flares up is a good one. I was also considering an autoimmune disease that flares up. 

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

Some of my co-workers know just because it's come up in conversation and they're curious about it (and its not too hard to talk to most of them about it cause we're nurses :-))  My family obviously knows.  My boyfriend knows.  A couple of his friends know roughly what it is but they dont really need specifics.  My close friends know what's up roughly.  I just went on vacation with 5 of my friends from college who know about my UC but werent really sure what it entailed until mealtime came.  One of my friends just thought I was picking carrots outta my pasta salad cause I was allergic --> but I told him I love carrots, its just if I eat them it might be a problem later.  My friends and I tend to make light of the situation like "Oh boy, we better not order Chinese tonight we all know Linz will be trying to hold conversations from the bathroom with us" and since I'm so close to them it doesnt really bother me.  I tell them what they wanna know but in the beginning I just described it as "an intestinal condition or disease".

On that vacation I was having a 1 on 1 conversation, late night heart to heart if you will, with one of my friends and he was curious so I elaborated more and I felt like he understood.

Its tougher to talk to aquaintances about it I feel.  But the people your close to are just genuinely curious, and they try to maybe make something different for dinner for you if they understand, or they wont order chinese or they'll understand better why you might be sitting quietly in the corner rather than being your bubbly self.  In those situations, its just understood and its all good

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

I have Chrons, diagnosed in 2000. I have been sick quite a bit,  If I have to eat with friends and I have to be choosy about my diet, I just tell them I have food allergies due to a digestive condition and cannot eat certian foods like dairy, nuts, grains and green vegetables. I dont like to say much except to family becaue then folks start asking twenty questions.

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

Like most people have said, my close family knows exactly what I have and are supportive. For example, when I go see my parents they are careful as to what make for dinner. However, most of my friends know that I have "problems" but I don't go into specifics with them and probably half of the people that I work with don't know. I try to keep it private but I do hear people saying how they know somebody who has at least one digestive disorder which helps. My boss is great though and I can just call out sick and he doesn't bug me about it or when I need to leave for a doctor's appointment.

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

I agree with epb...I don't think we need to be ashamed! If someone asks, I tell them that I have Crohn's. I've actually been amazed at how many people have replied, "Oh really? My (aunt-coworker-neighbor-grandma-etc) has Crohn's too." And sure, they may not realize just how miserable it can be, but they've got access to the internet just like the rest of the world. I think it's important for people to realize, however, that this really is a painful disease. Just brushing them away doesn't make our lives any easier in the long run. I don't believe in boring people with the lurid details of my personal bowel-life, but I will give them general information if they ask.

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

It's a tough call on what to say. It depends on who's asking as to what I say. My family knows all the nasty details but co-workers I usually tell them I have Crohn's disease and it causes a lot of pain and internal bleeding (they don't need to know where). I did tell some people that it was bloody poo and they seemed so grossed out and disturbed by it that I just started saying the internal bleeding thing. That gets the point across that it's a serious disease (because internal bleeding is never a good thing) but doesn't tell them you are constantly s**tting blood all the time :)

Hope this helps,

Jenelle

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

I have UC-diagnosed 2004- and I still find it very difficult to explain my condition even to family.  My mother and my husband know all the details, obviously, because they live with me, but in-laws, extended family, friends, when they ask, I just usually tell them I was sick from bleeding ulcers.  I don't specify where.  I am still embarrassed to have this disease and the problems it has caused me. I don't talk about it if I don't have to.  If you would like to try the bleeding ulcer answer, please be my guest, it seems to answer their question satisfactorily.  Good luck!!

 Reply posted for mrcleanks.

"I have an intestinal condition"  works for me....just needed an easy response and kept drawing a blank on what to say.  Thanks!

Perhaps someday I will be comfortable enough to explain UC, as "epb" suggested, but not quite there yet.

Thanks for the input, I appreciate it.

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

I've had dealings with this situation more than I care to remember. The way I handle it is this: if it's a stranger, I just say I have a chronic condition that knocks me down occasionally. If it's people at work(co-workers) I'm actually more careful. Too much infomation is not a good idea (I found this out first-hand when I was let go after my boss new all about my problem)--Whether it's unintentional or not, someone else hears of this, may want to 'get even', or is just overheard by your 'friends' talking about it and before you know it, it's so blown of proportion that you are looked at as a 'high risk' employee. It seems lately though that more people I meet and ask what I have, they often say that they have a family member, close friend, themselves, or others they know that also have Crohn's. Even my family took a long time to understand my sondition. When people see you occasionally, it's worse because they'll say, 'You don't look sick' or 'But you look fine'. I suppose it comes down to indivdual personalities and your level of comfort. When first diagnosed, I was ashamed to talk about it. Even now, after all these years, I will still only tell what I have to, no more. If pressed for specifics, depending on the situation I'm in will determine how much I will tell. Family needs to know it all, in my opinion. They are the ones that will be a part of your life forever, not co-workers, bosses, or even friends. They will be the ones you seek out when you feel you need to really express yourself. Hopefully, most will be non-judgemental. O.k., I think I've said enough!!

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

Everyone has their own threshhold for privacy on health issues.  I like to tell people what I have (Crohn's) and explain to them what it is.  I believe that it's liberating not having to hide this.  And I feel like I may be helping other folks with Crohn's feel comfortable to do this.  It wasn't that long ago that folks wispered about breast cancer.  Now thousands of folks march, run, walk, and talk about it openly, which I believe is a good thing for everyone involved.

 Reply posted for katiepaw.

I definately understand not wanting everyone to know all the "details". Unfortunately my boss is the 20 questions/you have to justify missing work/I know youre not that sick/Im trying to look like Im concerned type of person so he knows way more than Im comfortable with. Between him not being able to keep any info to himself and the few coworkers I have shared details with, more people I work with know than Id like. You cant EVER take it back. Ive gotten to when customers or acquaintances ask Ill say "I have a chronic bowel disease" or "I have an intestinal condition" and most people dont ask anything else. I guess the thought of what that might be kind of makes them back off-I dont know. This may still be more info than you feel comfortable sharing. I usually try to change the subject too, especially if its a customer. I know most people mean well and dont mean to pry but when Id just say "Ive been sick" when theyd ask why I look so skinny or where have I been, they always seemed to ask "sick from what?". Then Id try to come up with something creative to answer them with. I guess I just got tired of coming up with ways to completely hide my condition. This probably isnt quite the answer you were looking for but it's the only way I've come up with for myself so far.