Community Forum

 Reply posted for Sean.

Please, do not give up hope.  Turn it over to God, or you Higher Power, and know that your words will be heard.  I, too, thought the same thing (although I don't have a J-pouch) but many issues at hand with my health and I found someone who stands beside me, during good AND bad times and we hope to be married this summer.

All dreams are possible, never give up hope.  I know, easier said then done.  She's out there, just waiting for the right time to enter into your life.

Reply posted for sean.

I was diagnosed while dating my boyfriend (at the time).  No one has ever stepped up to the plate for me more.  He's taken me to doctor appointments, carried me to the bathroom when I couldn't walk, brought be broth when I couldn't eat, held me while cried all the time, stuck by me as friends drifted away becasue crohns was "too much".  Hes stood up to doctors that don't believe me and he doesn't care how much I talk about poop or butts.  We got married on July 27th.  He pushed it up because I was turning 26 in August and would lose my insurance, as well as my ability to afford Humira.  Because of him, I had no gap in medicene and now I get to say I have the best man I've ever met as a husband.  

I am not trying to brag, but say that it is possible.  In this horrible 2 years of misdiagnosis and bad doctors and worse medicenes, hes been here.  He isn't perfect . He's made mistakes.  Being a caregiver is hard.  But its more than possible, it will happen.  You just have to find someone who has an open heart , can listen and is empathetic . Even with my husband, this process can feel so alone- like when your stuck in bed all day.  I am sending kindness , love and compassion your way.  The right person will happen,  its just hard to believe that sometimes.

 Reply posted for Sean.

I remember being in the same situation as you for many years.  In my previous marriage, I was diagnosed with Crohn's.  I knew for sometime that something was really wrong.  Our relationship was deteriorating as my symptoms worsened.  After I was diagnosed things only got worse.  I felt totally alone.  Needless to say, the marriage ended and ended badly.  It took me a long time and a lot of tears to get over it.  My disease was very severe and I had many hopital visits and many surgeries.  I had boyfriends along the way but, not one of them could handle what I was experiencing.  After six long, painful and very lonely years I met a man I thought was great but, not my type.  We started a friendship and it just grew from there.  We are now married and have a ten month old daughter that I thought I could never have.  All things are possible!  I certainly hope that for you.  You sound very deserving.  The good ones are hard to find but they are out there!  Hope she finds you when you least expect it!

 Reply posted for ACA11.

Sean,  I have Crohn's.  One marriage dissolved because he could not handle my "lazy" (his words) streak.  He did not understand at all.  I recently went through a really rough time, faced death, and gained a colostomy.  I had just started a relationship with a wonderful man.  I worried about our future.  Would he stick with me?  Well, he has and he continues to be there for me.  We have a beautiful relationship. If I hear of some food or supplement that is good for me, off we go to get it.  He encourages me to get out and to play again.  When I start fretting over the colostomy and will they be able to reverse it, he calms me.  I help him through his tuff times, too.  I had to put myself out there, live life to the fullest, accept me and my body, love my body, and have faith that the right one was around the corner.  He was.  He wasn't what I thought I wanted in a man.  He wasn't the "type" people think is right for me.  I still get the "wow, you and Ray, unbelievable" comments.  We fit. We fight. We love. We laugh.  Most of all, we trust and share.  Chin up, head high, and march forward into this wacky world.  Risk the hurt to find the peace.

Hugs!

Wendy

 Reply posted for Sean.

Sean, read the posts by Dave's wife and you will be able to believe love is possible. Don't shy away from people. Remember nobody is perfect- and love is a mystery. Many people live with different conditions- and also find love. ( maybe we should start a dating forum for singles on this site :) )

You sound like you have a big heart and that is a plus. I'm married and older than you, but I have learned through the years that this is important.

BF

 Reply posted for Sean.

In a moment of weakness, confessions of the heart were thrown into the loneliness and solitude of UC. Words of a soul cast into the emptiness, shadowless and grey... responded, resurrected by your uplifting words to give life and cast a rainbow shadow upon my own.... inspiring, uprising, giving birth to hope... thank you so very much for the beautiful words of encouragement. Its such a feeling of comfort, peace to be understood. 
 
thank you!

 Reply posted for Sean.

Don't give up.  She is out there somewhere just waiting for you.  You sound like such a great guy.  I wish I knew someone to fix you up with.  Maybe someone on this website.  That would be great!!!  You aren't alone either.  This website is such a help.