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Hi all,

Im brand new to this forum but I could use some advice.  My husband has had crohns/colitis for 15 years.  His symptoms calmed down when he started taking Rx Asacol a few years ago, and about 2 years ago we went on a gluten/sugar/mostly carbohydrate free diet inspired by the specific carbohydrate diet and the gaps diet.  About a year ago he lost his insurance, but was feeling so good with the diet he decided to go off his medication without any medical advice/assistance.  He felt good all summer, then when the weather got cold he flared up.  Long story short he got back on the Asacol and now his symptoms are under control, but he still has diarrhea or loose stool many times a day.

Heres my question: with this flare he seems to have lost all faith in the idea that symptoms can be controlled or even helped by diet (Incidentally, the better he felt, the more he cheated on the diet with sugar, white flour, etc.)  He also has no appetite.  Now he goes hours in the morning without eating anything.  I try to make him something like an egg and he says hes not hungry.  Then he finally gets hungry and eats god knows what, I just found a stash of candy wrappers in his car.  I really try to have healthy foods around the house, I make him healthy meals to take to work and he "forgets" them half the time, I remind him to take them but I dont know if he even eats them.  He picks at whatever I give him.

Now who am I to force him to eat when hes not hungry, Ive totally given up on that.  But I feel like hes wasting away and I dont know what to do, or even if there is anything I can do.  Does anyone have thoughts or ideas for me?

 Reply posted for jhanson.

What a lucky fellow to have someone who cares about his well being like you do, and all for naught. I worked with a guy years ago who told me his wife didn't eat right and took terrible care of herself. He confided in me about his concern for her well being. She died a few years later.  You are only responsible for so much in a relationship, you are doing your part, your husband is not doing his. Find things to do that help you maintain your sanity. There are things in life that you can have control over and there are things which you cannot. Leave the books that I recommended lay around the house in case he decides to start taking care of himself. The blood sugar book is a guide on how to take care of yourself and explanation of how the body functions as well as about your blood sugar.

                                              Joe

 Reply posted for jhanson.

Thanks for responding :)  I should clarify that he IS back on his meds and did finally see a gastroenterologist again, who gave him a firm talking to about taking his medication regularly, and he's doing that now.  He is definitely healthier than he was a few months ago. 

I'm wondering if anyone has specific advice re. my role as partner and how I can best support him.  It seems like since eating often gives him abdominal pain, he therefore doesn't eat, which like you say, results in blood sugar spikes and drives me nuts since I love to cook.  I used to ride him about it, and hover over him with chicken soup, gelatin, almonds etc., and not only does it make me feel like his mother, it frustrates him and gets in the way of our relationship.

So what do I do?  Follow him around reading from the Low Blood Sugar book?  Do nothing since change has to come from within?  Cook SCD compatible junk food, since my purging the house of sugar has apparently resulted in him buying gas station candy?  Tell him I'm leaving him if he doesn't start eating breakfast?  Talking about it with him is pretty challenging because we've talked about it over and over; its pretty much the only thing we fight about, so lately Ive taken the keep-your-mouth-shut route and now its driving me crazy.  I know theres no quick solution, Im just wondering if anyone has similar experiences or insights to share??? 

 Reply posted for jhanson.

Your husband is sick and in denial. He needs to see a gastroenterologist for his IBD. A stash of candy bar wrappers, skipping meals and not eating properly translates into blood sugar instability. He needs to see a primary care physician. See if you can find some government assistance medical care for him. He is doing everything wrong. You have to take very good care of yourself so that your body has the strength and stamina to withstand the IBD. You have to take the medications to keep the IBD at bay. "Crohns Disease and Ulcerative Colitis, everything you need to know", by Fred Saibil, M.D., ISBN 1-55297-771-4. "The Crohns Disease and Ulcerative Colitis Fact Book" by the Crohns and Colitis Foundation of America, Inc., ISBN 0-684-17967-9. "The Low Blood Sugar Handbook" by Edward and Patricia Krimmel, ISBN 0-916503-04-6. Come here often.

                                                  Joe