Community Forum

having ulcerative colitis means we cant eat some foods (well most).

i find it very difficult to say to people when they offer me food, "oh no thank you" and i usually fake it with "im allergic" so i dont get further questions. 

i also hate it when people invite me to dinner, or meals in general. it is so difficult to find something to eat and i just find it easier to prepare my own food.  but that is not always realistic.

i suppose my question is how can we politely request our food, without sayingthe long list of what we cant eat?

i think another problem with this is explaining what you cant eat makes me feel weird. and not normal and it just reminds me of how different i am from normal healthy people. you dont want to have to explain ulcerative colitis to everyone who you eat with.  especially people you meet for the first time, like work dinners, etc. i feel that there is no easy way to explain the food situation.

im not sure this makes sense.  but all thoughts are appreciated.

how do you handle explaining food to people?

 Reply posted for kg.

Work dinners... restaurants.....catered events.  this is where advance planning comes in.  research the menu or offerings.  Go directly to the restaurant/ caterer, business.  It is not the employer's responsibility.   Explain that you have a health condition and you need to see menu/engridients. Make a request ahead of time, or decide if they have an offering that you can tolerate. Ask if you can bring in some of your own food that they can plate for you.  If not, order something as close to possible to what you can tolerate.... and make it look like you are eating.  If someone asks - say your gut is bothering you.  It can cover all manner of sins... and it is none of their business.  You decide how much you can or want to share, and you stay in control of your food.

 Reply posted for kg.

To be honest, I have taken to eating mostly my own food, and being very cautious about what I eat outside of my home.  Even at my brothers house< he has Crohn's too> I have eaten a meal that he prepared only to become ill enough for the emergency room.  Know what you can tolerate, don't overdo it.... and let people know that you appreciate the offer of food/ drink.  If they know you, and know that you have GI problems, offer to bring your own; or make a recommendation for something simple that they can provide that you can tolerate.  if it is public, or none of their business - say you have already eaten. Or just socialize with a dummy plate.  put it on a plate and DON'T EAT IT.  If you don't know what is in it - ask, or avoid it.  Your health and comfort are too hard to come by and too important to risk.  It takes a lot of self control... and giving up a lot of things that I love.... and rethinking diet and nutrition.  But it can be done.  speaking from someone who was on a NO FIBER diet for over a year!

 Reply posted for kg.

I can usually find something I can eat at a restaurant. I am safe with chicken rice and salad. The problem is family cookouts. I have told all of them so many time what I can't eat. Yet they keep offering, almost pushing the food on me. I tell them I can't eat that, it bothers my system. I just said this to my brother inlaw when he offersd my some food. He said how do you know. I felt like screaming into his thick skull. I should have asked if he would like to axamine my bloody stool.It is almost like they don't believe me. Or they try to re diognose me. Maybe you have ceilac.

 Reply posted for jquinn513.

 that was nice to hear. and also very helpful.

 Reply posted for kg.

I know how you feel. when I was diagnosed with crohn's I was so embarrassed, but over time it has gotten easier to talk to people about what I can and can't eat. I usually just tell people I have stomach problems or just explain crohn's disease to them if they ask and say that certain foods will make me sick/give me a stomach ache. I've been fortunate to always come across people that are very supportive and never really had anyone say anything rude. I find that it helps to have a sense of humor, too. I don't have that limited of a diet, or at least I don't stick to it, but I'll just order toast and tea or applesauce if I'm out somewhere and feeling sick. or something more and bring the majority home. and I offer to bring my own food if I'm going somewhere. like if I go to a BBQ I'll bring some turkey burgers along or a container of food I can warm up. being honest and trying to be helpful in awkward situations like that are usually what help me :)

 Reply posted for kg.

You don't have to get into details with people.  Tell friends/family that your doctor recommends that you prepare your own meals.  When you go out to eat, there is a chance of cross-contamination with dairy/gluten/soy ect. even although your order may not have any of those fooods in it.  

 Reply posted for kg.

I know it is difficult.  My 10 year old daughter has Crohn's and we deal with this issue all the time.  Whenever possible I have tried to remove food out of social situations for her.  If she is going to a birthday party I will give her a meal first so she can just tell everyone she already ate.  This way she does not show up starving and if there are safe foods available she will eat them, if not, she already ate at home.  Other times, I will bring food to the party that I know is safe for her to eat.  I know in work situations this is probably harder and you don't want to appear antisocial.  Unfortunately our culture has linked socializing with not just eating, but overeating really unhealthy foods.  Hopefully the IBD community can do something to change it!  Good luck.

 Reply posted for kg.

I know what you mean.  I have lost a lot of weight and people ask me what diet I am on.  I reply, "Not one you want, trust me". People think I have an eating disorder and say things like, "don't you eat?"  Sometimes I just give in and pay for it later.

 Reply posted for kg.

i find it annoying too. especially when i know for a fact ive explained it all to them before. keep a list in your head of what you cant eat, and try to find out beforehand if theyre serving something you cant have. if they are having something you cant have, leave enough time before or afterwards to get something too eat, and politley refuse anything offered to you. the "im allergic" makes me feel like im lying. but i guess "no thank you" could work just as well. hope this helps.

 Reply posted for kg.

I have found that by asking what is on the menu so I can bring something to go along with what they have prepared works well. They always say it is not necessary for me to bring anything but know in the end I will bring something. This way I atleast have 1 thing on the menu I can eat and know if I need to eat before going or will be able to eat when I arrive.

Hope this helps.