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Have any of you ever dealt with a situation where a friend or family member got jealous of your illness (or perhaps the attention you get because of it?) I'm having a very weird experience with one of my close friends. About 6 months ago she started alluding to her "health problems." She has always been healthy and I've never known her to have any health problems. When I would talk about my health problems on a facebook group, when I'd ask for prayers relating to my crohn's, she started adding "Yes, please pray for my health problems too." I tried to ask her multiple times about these new health problems. Every time I asked about them, she would get very defensive and say that she didn't want to discuss it. 

I didn't think much of it. She started being distant and when I asked her about it, she just said she was busy with work. Today she sent me an e-mail completely going off on me with a long list of grievances. The biggest problem she had was that I don't accept that her illness is as serious as mine. She also said she was tired of hearing about my health. 

We've been friends for a handful of years but it appears that she wants to end the friendship over this. Has anyone ever experienced something like this before? It's so bizarre to me. Why would someone want this illness? My friend has always been overly dramatic and sensitive but this just seems over the top. Any suggestions?

I had a friend who got jealous when I got diagnosed, I remember we got into a huge fight. Long story short his girlfriend felt bad for me and started dating me (didn't know they were together at the time). Once i realized it was pure pity on her part and need to take care of someone I let her go. I told him, you don't want my disease and i wish I could just give it away but I can't. We haven't talked since middle school.

that's really an awful situation! I feel for you, truly. Your friend obviously has issues of his/her own to be jealous of a really debilitating illness. Maybe try to steer clear of him/her for emotional support and turn to others who want to actually support you!

 Reply posted for jmcbrid2.

that's really an awful situation! I feel for you, truly. Your friend obviously has issues of his/her own to be jealous of a really debilitating illness. Maybe try to steer clear of him/her for emotional support and turn to others who want to actually support you!

 Reply posted for tdheather.

Another thing I just thought of is that I usually refrain from posting anything about my crohn's  on facebook.  I don't really want everybody to know what's going on to that extent,  and I try to not write things that will make anybody "feel bad" for me.  Now... on here,  its a different story... you'd see a whole bunch of my "not feeling good posts" (sometimes written very desperately) if you searched my posts from right around this time last year... but being the ccfa community,  it makes a huge difference that you are getting empathy, and experienced opinions, and not sympathy.    I think when you post things that make others feel sympathetic,  there are always those people who (wrongly in this case) assume that you're out to get the attention.

 Reply posted for tdheather.

I can't say that I've ever been in your situation,  but I do feel kind of bad for your friend.  I do not think that there is anything right about what she is doing,  but I do think that a person has to be at a pretty low spot in their life to feel jealous of anyone with IBD.  Maybe she does need some attention... maybe even of the professional sort... to find out why she might feel that way,  or to help her if there is something she has been trying to handle for herself that she's just not able to... although I imagine if this is her version of a cry for help she might not be very receptive to the idea... or she might not even know how to use the attention to her benefit even if you gave it to her.
Either way,  I hope that all works out peacefully.
Take care,
Kristen

 Reply posted for jmcbrid2.

Yes, I certainly would not choose this. I can't have children because the scar tissue has grown into my fallopian tubes and our medical bills are a nightmare. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I am really reevaluating the friendship. At this point she is down playing it and acting surprised that I am upset while wondering why I don't just want to act like nothing happened.

 Reply posted for tdheather.

Don't let your friend get to you because real friends don't get jealous of the attention you get (which is obviously what she's doing). Real friends have empathy for you and want to be there for you. Any person that would fake health problems or even intensify small health problems has deeper rooted issues because as I'm sure you feel the same as I do, no one would ever choose this life. So maybe this is just God's way of telling you to re-evaluate your friendship with this person.