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I feel so frustrated today. I went into the living room and screamed 3 times and now I am crying.  I was baking some gluten free biscotti and I forgot to put in the Xantham Gum which holds it all together.  After slaving over the oven for about 1 1/2 hrs I took it out of the oven and it all just crumbled into an unedible mess . There are sooooo many things I can't eat .  Every few years it seems like there is something else I have to avoid.  My husband could see that I was getting upset over the mistake I made, so he told me to go out in the garage and yell, instead I did it in the living room.  I feel really bad about venting so uncontrollably. I have had colitis for about 6 years.  Have had on and off bad episodes over the years but through trial and error I have learned I which foods and situations to avoid and had been doing OK.  But since Christmas 2013 together with my doctor we discovered that it is dairy products that are making me worse.  3 years before that I found out (over 6 months of diet manipulation) that I can no longer eat wheat as I get horrible intestinal cramping .(thought it was the colitis-imagine that incredible dilemma)  Then 2 years before THAT, it was the colitis that set in.  The other thing that upsets me is that I am getting really bad arthritis and cant even take tylenol or Motrin.  My joints hurt all the time. I am so tired of hurting physically and then mentally having to figure out every day what I can and cannot eat.   Whew.  Thanks for listening everyone, I am having one ruff 2014.  Not to mention the weather here in Michigan has been the worst on record.  It snowed about 3-4 times a week since Thanksgiving and has been unbelievable cold which effects my arthritis.

 Reply posted for nancyt.

 Reply posted for nancyt.

Hi Nancyt,  I am glad to hear that your week is better.  Thanks for the comments.   Take the good days and enjoy, but when there is a setback, and I have had them, we all have... colitis has a way of making you worry about so many things you normally wouldn't worry about.  I encourage you to take it one day at time.  I know when i wake up sometimes and I don't feel great - I think I wish it was bedtime, and when bedtime comes, I wish it was morning.  Its a cycle with good days and bad days.  But you are strong, and you will overcome this, we all will .... there is more resources today than ever.  Strength isn't always out in the open, strength can be feeling weak, having a bad day, but you go to bed and say tommorow I will try again... that's strength.
You have strength.

Dear Landscaper,

Thank you so much for listening AND hearing.  It really helps to know there are others out there who are going through the same, and who understand.  I only rec'd this one response but it makes me feel so much better.  This week is going a little better. 

It's true that colitis and it's many ups and downs is difficult to speak of, with most of my friends and acquaintances, and yes it is easier to talk about cancer or homosexuality than colitis.  When I speak of my trials and tribulations with colitis, most people just get this raised eyebrow look on their face as if to say "Oh my God, I can't believe she's talking about her intestines, someone let me out of here".  Then there is the other extreme, when I dined  with a friend all she could say was "So, can you eat this?, and can you digest this?"

Landscaper, are you a therapist of some sort? You sound so compassionate.  Thank you again. This website is a lifesaver.

 Reply posted for nancyt.

Nancyt, you are acting totally normal.  Colitis affects us all in different ways but from what i have read and what i have learned we all share commonalities; depression; frustration; pain and discomfort; rollercoaster of days; and not to mention the embaressment of it all.  It is discouraging to consider that if someone came out and said they had cancer, or was homosexual, or was bi-polar - suddenly there is a wave of  sympathy , support, and encouragement.   But you say Colitis and people don't understand, they get uncomfortable, they don't realize that people who suffer the symptoms of colitis have to go thru the arduous journey of daily and nightly pain and suffering; emotional stress and moods; anxiety ; and it affects there life in my opinion as much or more.  But there is hope, alot of new drugs are on the market and have been approved, and new ones are being developed that will help us colitis sufferers; things will get better.   You have to hang in there, even if it is one hour at a time.... you have to hang in there... you and all of us will defeat this health issue , with faith, with each other's support, with forums like this one.  You can give yourself permission to feel like you do, we all scream , sometimes inside and sometimes out loud.  You are ok, you will be ok, in fact when you come out of this you will be better and stronger than you ever thought you could be... I have suffered from Colitis now for 15 years and I still have days I don't want to get out of bed... but you have to get busy living .  Take care.