Dating troubles
Sun, June 15, 2008 4:49 PM
Hi all,
I could seriously use some support. I am in my late 30s and am back to "being out there" again. I have UC and it appears to be ruining any sort of chance I have dating again. I dread meeting at restaurants, car rides are dicey and well, you know the story. I am worried this thing is killing any chance I may have at meeting someone. Can anyone relate? I am trying to stay positive but right now I am pretty frustrated.
Thanks--J
Joined Jun 12, 2008
Tue, July 22, 2008 12:00 AM
Reply posted for betterdays.
I think I originally signed up on this site with the hope that they had a 'personal' component to meet other singles suffering with the same stuff. I am over 40 and single...wow I said it..single again and out there just like you. I've been dealing with this since my early 20's and dating has always been a challenge. The very few long relationships that I've had ended due to the immaturity of the male and feeling as if I were 'damaged' and unlovable because of all the components of UC, from the bathroom thing to all of the side effects of the disease and meds. All of that can make you feel less than perfect. We should ask for a singles page on this site.
Dating is hard, but you just have to put yourself out there and when the time is right you can reveal what you suffer from if it gets in the way of normal activity. I have a very hard time revealing and usually sabatoge before I get the chance. My dreams of marriage and kids is falling fast away and althought I say that with a heavy heart I know that there is someone for everyone. I'm just waiting for my opportunity and I keep plugging away meeting through friends, work, and I even tried the internet once. If you come up with a better plan let me know...I could always use the help. Good luck and just keep smiling and remember no matter what God only gives us what we can handle! I only wish I wasn't able to handle so much!!!!!
zoeJoined Jul 21, 2008
Sun, July 20, 2008 10:47 PM
Reply posted for betterdays.
Hi,
I so can relate. I am 42, single and just had to have a sigmoid colostomy. I have no control over the gas because there is no sphinter, yeah it is real pleasant! We didn't have a choice about wether we got the disease but we do have a choice of wether it will run our lives or not. Educate new people who come into your life about the disease, if they are cool about it, WONDERFUL1! If not, than those are not the ones you need to be with, real;y, it is a true test of real person. Hang in there, listen to your frustration, better times are coming. ( im hanging onto the same thing!)
Pam
bcarmalitaJoined Jul 20, 2008
Tue, July 08, 2008 12:00 AM
Reply posted for betterdays.
One word: Relax. Your symptoms probably get WORSE when you worry about things like this. I don't let my colitis stop me from doing anything, I just make sure I know where the nearest bathroom is as soon as I get where I'm going.
Most people are pretty cool with your condition once you spill the beans, you just have to get to a comfort level with that person to be able to tell them. I look at it this way: I didn't do this to myself so why should I be ashamed of it? Get in that mindset and you'll be just fine.
bbizzowersJoined Jul 1, 2008
Sun, June 15, 2008 6:43 PM
Reply posted for betterdays.
Not only do I have Chrons but I have thyroid disease, a rare untreatable blood disorder, and a chronic kidney problem. And I can honestly say that none of them are my biggest hinderence in dating. My mind is usually always my #1 culprit. It sounds like your mind is playing tricks on you. If you don't have a positive attitude they won't either, and if you lack conifdence in yourself they certainly aren't going to give it to you.
Dating is hard enough as it is without medical issues intruding into your mind or your body. It certainly can make things uncomfortable or akward, but that doesn't mean you can't date or have a good time. I think you are giving yourself a strike before you even try steppingup to the plate.. that isn't fair to you OR your date.
Good Luck!
Joined Jun 15, 2008