Struggle accepting recent diagnosis of Crohn's
Wed, August 17, 2016 7:56 PM
Hi. Im working in Japan for almost a year now. Im still struggling with their language. I study but workload from office keeps me from giving my 100℅ on learning Japanese.So imagine the struggle I had when I just got diagnosed with Crohns a few weeks back. Every day was torture: with the pain, with the loneliness, with being alienated, with confusion, with not eating or drinking anything. My familys not with me, its just me. Suffered depression for 2 weeks to the point that I thought I should just give in to this disease and let it break chaos in my body. Family and friends beat some sense in me for about a week until theyve acknowledged that Im sane again or Im thinking positively again.
I am still in the hospital. I am due for surgery in a few days due to abscess built up in a tissue near my small intestine.My emotional state has been going up and down lately. One time I am fine because I know Ill get better soon; the next Im all miserable because I worry how I can cope up with work, money, etc. once Im out of the hospital. It also affected my physical state. They regularly take blood tests to monitor my CRP. I was getting better, they are going to discharge me but then for some reason, CRP has peaked so high higher than my first blood test. Then I got depressed again.
Now, what keeps me going or what keeps me positive is the thought of being able to freely move around again, eat anything, do anytthing. But I guess it wont be as easy as that. I understand that there may be limitations This saddens me. This makes me think that things will be go back the way they were before.
I just worry on how I will manage to deal with this as this is apparently a life-long disease. Im with it for the rest of my life. Im only 22 years old and there are so much stuff I still wanna do, I still dont know. To be honest, Im scared of my future now.
kechiicooJoined Aug 17, 2016
Sun, August 28, 2016 9:18 PM
Reply posted for kechiicoo.
When i read this, stuff like this, i feel something. Its like, seeing someone else in pain makes me feel.... Like burning down some hospitals. I feel a fire in me that wants to burn down the sickness thats corroding away human life. It corrodes human-thought. Its alot of the stresses and digression of ideas, including excessive ideas, that are the catalyst to more helfire.... Tonight i sit parallel to the wall (my only home away from pain), but i hope that you and others will find the freedom you deserve, and much sooner than i had.
jetpilot87Joined Aug 28, 2016