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I just joined this forum so hi everyone. I am 17 and was diagnosed when I was 13. I just had my second surgery after going through an endless episode of medicines failing to help. I have always felt weird and different from this illness but I recently looked in the mirror and felt struck with how ugly it had made me. I have scars all over my stomach and the ostomy bag is disgusting. Plus this illness has made me so lonely. I can't go to school and when I did have a boyfriend I never felt well enough to spend any time with him. Now I am so lonely that I cry. I don't know what to do. Can someone please help me?

 Reply posted for SenseofLife.

i know that this is not much help, and that it's so amazingly difficult to deal with your changing body issues as a teenager whether or not you have a chronic illness.  i can tell you, though, as someone who fought both diabetes and uc as a teenager--you are stronger, more interesting, and a heck of a lot more mature than most people your age.  your whole life you're going to be able to look back on this and say: you morons, when your biggest concern was your streaky mascara mine was a gaping hole in my belly--you're strong.  you're beautiful.  you'll get through this.  it's okay to cry--it's okay to be upset--you don't want to date anyone who doesn't understand, believe me.  i had a teenage boyfriend who wouldn't watch me take insulin shots (i take 8-10 a day).  he made me feel like a leper--and you know what?  it sucked at the time.  but i'm so glad that i got to find out what an incredible *** he was in such an obvious way!  you have been given the incredible gift of not having to deal with superficial people.  it's hard now--and it'll never be easy.  but you'll make it.  good luck--take care--god bless.

ann

 Reply posted for SenseofLife.

hey...i'm 23 and just underwent my 2nd surgery too (though i have 2 previous scars for unrelated abdominal surgeries as an infant)...you could play tic tac toe on me. i was diagnosed w/ cd @ 15 and had my 1st surgery (leaving a ridiculous scar) down my middle @ 16...just in time for the joys of teen angst...so i really feel your pain.

honestly, some days are gonna be rough and flares bring out the best and worst of you and those around you. i've had amazing boyfriends who have dealt with it (before i was "comfortable" with my scars, one told me they were beautiful to him because they proved my strength)...and crap ones who ran away when i flared but at the end of the day i had me.

i still only wear 2 pieces, because i quite frankly don't have the balls to wear a 2-piece...i'm not interested in the questions that i may get...to me, cd is one part of my life, not the center and i'm a whole lot of things before a sick person...and you are too, even if your illness takes front and center like now.

i have never been a huge fan of tattoos...but about a year and a half ago, my best friend (since about the time of my diagnosis) decided to get one together. we each got different, but related tats that we designed ourselves. mine is an oak leaf w/ an acorn...it represents our friendship, but beyond that, it stands for strength and endurance...something that during my surgery 3 weeks ago really helped being reminded of. beyond the symbology of my tat, i really felt like choosing a "scar," one that i could connect with and really claim helps me deal with the scars that aren't really an option. maybe this would help you.

i wish you all the best with your recovery and beyond...and don't be so *** yourself...you're beautiful scars and all.

-caitlin

 Reply posted for SenseofLife.

I am 42 yrs now but have lived with UC since I was 16 yrs.  I had surgery (J Pouch) in 2000. 

Yes, it is very hard to be a teen and sick and have a bag. Please try to find the humor.  I choose to laugh instead of cry. 

I wear a bikini and could care less about my scars.  I wore a tankini with my bag and went to the water park.  If you don't like my scars- don't look.  How is your scar any different than a open heart surgery scar? 

Wear your scar proudly- you have gone through a lot. 

Hang in there- things will get better

Someone always has it worse than you.  :O)

 Reply posted for krones1066.

PS- Sorry, I don't know if you have CD or UC. Please feel free to use them interchangeably in my slogan as they both equally suck....

PPS- One day you will find a boyfriend and other friends who will understand your disease and that will make it ten times easier. Just be patient (My boyfriend will even go to the store to buy me laxatives! Now that's love!)

 Reply posted for SenseofLife.

Hi friend,

Oh my god I'm so sorry! It sounds like you have been and are going through A LOT with your disease. But don't worry- you came to the right place. People here are amazing, if not with help and advice, at least with prayers and sympathies.

I can give you the sympathies.... I was 17 when I was diagnosed, and four years later, I still can't deal with the depression it can cause. It's incredibly overwhelming, and that's ok, it should be. No one should have to deal with what we Crohn's people deal with everyday. It's not fair. It sucks. You deserve a normal life. You can cry.

And then.... you pick yourself up. Because you're bigger than Crohn's. You have Crohn's, Crohn's doesn't have you. You can't get rid of it forever, but you can make it a minimal part of your life. Crohn's is a disease, not a life. Try saying that to yourself whenever you're in pain. Sure, it's kinda corny, but it helps to empower me at times.

Good luck,
Stay hopeful,
I really really really really really hope you get better,
Missy