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In june only 3 months after I had my 2nd baby a boy I found out I have chrone's I spent 2 months in and out of the hospital trying to get my chrone's under control and now that thing's are alot better then they were I think the medications I am taking are making me crazy. I am constantley getting really angry with my 8 year old daughter and I'm constantly fighting with my boyfriend I think it might be that I'm feeling really insecure now with the wieght gain from the prednisone I just don't know what to do I'm scarred and feel like no one understands.

 Reply posted for Ana.

i was diagnosed in 2004 after a long flare beginning in my last trimester of pregnancy in 2003.  i suffered horribly during my pregnancy (diarrhea, bleeding, cramping, *** diarrhea, you name it)  and my ob doc kept saying it's due to the pregnancy.  i kept getting weaker and weaker and i was scared i wouldn't have the energy to deliver.  by the time i delivered (emergency- i hemorhaged) i had lost 1/2 the blood in my body and was so anemic and weak, i had to have my husband carry me to the toilet when i had to go and hold me upright while i went.  the hospital staff was sooooo horrible to me.  my doctor said "you are so anemic your diet must have been like #$%*".  i ate organic healthy food my entire pregnancy, exercised, etc.  i didn't know what was wrong with me and everybody around me acted like i was faking it.  i refused a transfusion because of risks and spent 3 months building back my blood supply.  i was so week i could barely take care of my son.  i spent a year like this until i was finally diagnosed with uc.  it has been a battle to make people aware of what i go through and i still don't get much sympathy but at least my husband is starting to come around.  i wouldn't look to people to understand your condition, i would just focus on yourself and making yourself healthy and happy.  i find  no matter how much i try to explain what i feel like in a flare, the horrible medications and side affects, how careful i have to be with food, stress, keeing hydrated, the pain, well you know, people just can't relate and look at me like i'm a freak who should live in a bubble.  and nobody want's to talk about poop, gas, bleeding, pus, and the like.  we unfortunatly have no choice so thank goodness for this forum.  hang in there you are not alone.

 Reply posted for Ana.

Hi Ana,

I feel your pain.  The best thing I did was join these boards. I only did it a week ago after being diagnosed in July of 2007.  Prednisone is horrible for your moods but will make you feel soooo much better!  I was recently on it for the 2nd time on a high dose and really felt like I could jump out the window.  I also have two small children.  I know we all (husband, kids) have to deal with this but I don't think it's fair my little ones have to.  I'm also a first grade teacher and somedays I feel very ineffective and I feel bad about that!

Keep posting!  I need all the support I can get. 

ngc

 Reply posted for Ana.

Believe me, we do understand!  I have been in your spot several times.  I think it's important to let your boyfriend know how overwhelmed you are and specifically what he can do to help.  Not just "be there for me", but "I need you to sweep the floors because I don't have the energy" or "can you please take care of the dishes because my gut hurts right now?"  Men need specifics.  It's also okay to ask for a hug or something along those lines too when you're feeling bad.  Don't be afraid to say when you're in pain or visiting the bathroom frequently and may not be "in the mood" (ahem) that has nothing to do with attraction to him, etc.  Find other ways to be intimate when you're not feeling well.  If you keep that spark going, the rest of the relationship should be easier.

I have two small children at home too, and I found the best thing for me when I'm irritated/emotional/hurting is to take a deep breath before anything I say.  That gives me time to think about what's about to come out of my mouth so I don't regret anything I say, also so I don't yell or screech, I can have a normal tone to my voice.  At first, I admit, it's odd, but the kids have learned that when mommy takes a big breath like that it might be in their best interests to straighten up a bit.

It's hard to learn to ask for help, but it's also important.  People that love you really do want to help, they frequently just don't know how.  If we can give them some direction with specific requests, then everyone is happier.

And, keep visiting this forum so you know you're not alone in this!  We've all been there at some point or another.

Best wishes!

 Reply posted for Ana.

Hi. I know how you feel. I have UC and have been on and off prednisone constantly. It works great for the UC, but the side effects (when it comes to moods, etc. are just terrible). It is hard to describe to someone who has never taken prednisone long term, but I tend to be a very laid back, easy going person. When I get on prednisone, my husband has told me that he notices a change in my personality where I am cranky and moody. For some reason the things that normally don't bother you will really bother you when on this drug (at least for me anyway). My kids are older now, but given that you have two little ones, dealing with the stress of a chronic illness, and are on prednisone, I am sure it just makes everything seem overwhelming. Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you are feeling? At first I wasn't getting much emotional support from my husband and family, but as time goes on we are all working on that, and things are getting better. Hang in there...I think you will get better when you are weaned off the prednisone (emotionally).