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I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis about 11 years ago. Have been in remission for about 5 years but now it has come back with a vengence. To make life more interesting throw in brain surgery, a husband who divorced me after 27 years, because as he said.....pretty package but too damaged. It seems as if all of my friends slowly left, some not to slowly. It almost seems like everything shattered one by one and I know that this did not help with my colitis. I am quite simply.......lost.......so totally lost. I call it my silent disease.

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

I am so sorry to hear everything you've been through. I know from my own experience that stress does seem to bring on flares (although my doctor disagrees with me). I've had UC for 2 years, and have been on and off prednisone to control my flares. I found it very difficult emotionally, and just trying to get support and understanding from friends and family was also difficult.  I find these boards very helpful, as everyone can relate to the various aspects (physical/emotional) of these diseases. I also joined a local support group, and that has helped as well. If you ever want to chat/vent, or just need a sympathetic ear, please email  me at jackie@crashmusicinc.com

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

Hello Myzeb,

 Reply posted for Hockey Rocks.

Dear Hockey Rocks,

Thank you for you encouragement. I was told the last time I was hospitalized that they wanted to do a colostomy. I refused and am embarrassed to say it was for a vain reason. But I feel it getting worse daily and I know I will once again end up in the hospital. This time I will accept what is recommended. The nurse told me that she has had many patients come back to her after the operation and told her how better it made their lives. I wish with all my heart I would not have been such a bone head. This may sound stupid but this was the only thought that kept going through my mind. I already have Diabetes Type, which I control very well with diet, exercise and oral medication, obvious and not so obvious residual affects from the brain surgery and now you want me to have a bag? What man on earth would ever like me? I married at such a young age and with such family values that within 3 months I knew I had made a horrible mistake but by then I found out I was expecting our first child. There was no turning back for me I thought. So I endured 27 years of what a marriage is not suppose to be because of a silly promise I made to myself that ended up to be my only life regret so far. Sure, I do have 2 children who grew up into happy, healthy and wonderful people but.......was it worth it? NO. I hope no one is thinking how stupid I am because I am being as honest and open as one can be. But dang it.....my dream of finally knowing and having what so many lucky people have.....a soul mate, best friend and lover seems to disappear from my dreams if I have that operation. I just wish the world knew how it felt to have this "silent disease" and all that comes with it. I am happy you are doing so much better and I will keep applauding your success. Your strength is a wonderment to me. Thank you and take care.

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

This is a amazing web sight, the more you read the more you see first hand on the same things other pople are going through.  I see that you have UC, and  it has come back.  Have you been on Remicade?, I have had Crohns for years now.  The last 5 years has been tough.  I was on Remicade and Imuran at the same time.  It worked for a little while, then they just stopped working.  I finnaly got a Colostomy recentley, and I have never felt better.  Seems like you have been through allot obviousley, I know its tough to explain it in a paragraph or two, It is so true that allot of people just dont get it on what someone with UC or Crohns is really going through.  From a daily basis and overall,   it seems to me that its so important to talk to poeple about it who know, and to not get to absorbed with even speaking for myself, familly not even really getting it.  I think the Got Guts slogan is outstanding, I try to latch onto things like that for motivation and never stop moving forward.  I hope this is in anyway a helpfull to you on ideas, or another person who does understand. 

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

I am so sorry with what you are going through.  I am so upset with your ex.  I often wonder if people have any empathy anymore.  I wonder how he'd feel if he was in your shoes.  UC, brain surgery!!  Did you already have the brain surgery and what was the outcome?  As far as your UC, are you on any meds?  Are you on any probiotics?  My daughter's new doc says lots of UC patients have "bacteria overgrowth" and the probiotic Ultimate Flora Crical Care 50 Billion works on my daughter.  You were in remission for 5 years and then everything hit the fan.   As far as your ex, did he just leave you lately?  I sure hope you have a shark lawyer that can do your fighting for you and kick him down a few pegs.  As far as your friends, you really saw their true colors.  Just know you are not alone.  We are always here for you.  This is a great way to reach out to others and we are all here to help.

 Reply posted for myzeb7125.

I was in a similar boat, and have a close friend that the same thing happened, but I was living with (at that time) boyfriend for three years, diagnosed with Crohn's and he kicked me out. 

My heart goes out to you, you have been through alot, but know, please know, you will get better and maybe, just maybe, the ex was not the one that you were to spend the rest of your life with, but to learn some lessons from, grow from that whole experience and prepare for the one you will meet next.  The power of intent is very strong, you must simply believe in it, let go of what has been and accept what has been given to you.  But be careful what you wish for, you want to make sure every little thing is covered.  ;)

You have a friend here, if I may call myself so.  Know you aren't alone and we're just a "post" away.