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Ok, here's my delimia.  My youngest daughter knows that I suffer from Crohn's and I was diagnosed in 2006.  My family,(parents and siblings) are farmers and can't understand why I can no longer eat all the fresh veggies I have grown up with, or why I have to avoid certain foods all together.  My youngest daughter seems to think that when I'm on the road to recovery to add more stress to me for no reason other than I think she is out to get me.  We had to sell our house because I cannot afford to keep that and pay for my medical treatments.  I can't get health insurance here in Michigan because they say we make too much money as a married couple, but we don't make enough to live on.  We have an upcoming move, which I know is stressful in it's own right, that I'm not looking forward to but I know it has to be done.  what are some good ways to manage high stress situations without going into complete hiding?

My youngest daughter is Bipolar and is out of control at this point and there is nothing I can do for her as she is 18 now and out of my house but still keeps calling me or writing me being down right rude.  I screen her calls, I ignore 99% of what she is telling me.  I hate doing that to my own child, but my health comes first.  I worry about how all the medical bills are piling up and can't afford to pay for half of my medications and I am falling through every crack in the health care system there is out there.  I'm looking for anything at this point because I'm tired of all the pain either in my belly or in myjoints.  Please?  Anything out there to help me?

 Reply posted for Marshyliz.

I have had Crohn's for 7 years now. I have been in remission on 6-MP for 5 years now. I have found stress to correlate with flare ups. I just go out of a horrible relationship with an ex gf who was very controlling and my health was horrible and it improved as soon as she was out of my life. I also try to eat well, work out, or find other things that our good for stress. If you can't do vigourous excercise try walking, tai chi, meditation, or acupuncture. Acupuncture works great for stress. Having tons of family support has helped out a lot too. Good luck.

 Reply posted for Marshyliz.

I am so hearing you! I have a 14 year old who hates my guts, but I still take him to band, sports and weight training. He is overweight and very rude to me. I also work as a teacher of 14 year ols (8th grade math and science). One thing that I learned is that "You must confuse me with someone who argues with children" and the fine art of with holding the very things he loves until he does what I ask. When he throws fits, which are very different from when he was four, I just watch and go to my happy place (the place in which his negative energy can't reach me, like I put myself in a bubble). Sometimes I video tape him and then show him the tape. One time, I had to call the cops because he was getting dangerous.

Yes, he has to deal with a sick, single mom. Yes, he has had to learn how to call 911 since he was 3. Oh yeah, and the last time I went to the hospital, he had to help me drive, and I have agreed to take a ride in the ambulance next time. But, my son will also have more compassion and the ability to be responsible later in life.

 Reply posted for Marshyliz.

From what you are saying I guess your daughter is not taking her meds.  With her being 18 obviously you cannot make her.  Ignoring her is probably the best course to take.  I have had personal experience with bipolar relatives and as I am sure you know, people who are bipolar like to be the center of attention.  I think she sees you as competition for your family's attention.  It sounds like you have a supportive family otherwise so concentrate on them. 

I was diagnosed with Chrohn's almost 5 years ago.  One thing I have had to learn to do is not to let things bother me like I used to.  It is hard sometimes, but now I laugh at things that used to make me upset.  I know who will say things to me to try to get me upset and I laugh at them to show them they are not getting to me.  The alternative to laughing is crying and it is much more fun to laugh.  I strive to go with the flow and not let people's petty comments bother me.  Do I still get upset sometimes? Yes.  But I have learned that many things will work out, or take care of themselves if I just leave them alone and don't worry about them.  I hope this has been helpful to you.     

 Reply posted for Sarah.

I've had Crohn's for about 5 years now and about 2 years into my so called trying to figure things out period I had to start taking something.  As of now I take Lexapro.  Only about 10 milligrams but it's enough to keep the anxiety down somewhat.  My family is very supportive but if you don't have the disease they don't know what yo go through.  I'm only 33 and have 2 kids so that's stress in it self.  For me finding other people who have this disease and to be able to talk about it with each other is a great help as well.  For me there is no shame in taking something that can help me keep the stress at bay.

 Reply posted for Marshyliz.

Ok, here's an update a bit.  I have explained to my entire family about what I am going through, but my youngest keeps piling it on worse and worse while the rest of my family is trying to protect me.  I would just like ways to destress under these high stress situations.  Out of all my family, it's my youngest who just keeps making it worse when I need help the most.

 Reply posted for Marshyliz.

I read your post.  It certainly sounds much like my own situation.  I have been struggling with Crohn's for almost 20 years (as a single parent).  The last four have been the worst.  My daughter is 19 and is still at home and seems to push me to the edge when I'm at my worst.  I would suggest a family meeting.  Tell all of your family how your disease affects you, your anxiety about your current situation and your fears about the future.  Give them resources and pamphlets.  Tell them that you need unconditional love and support.  Tell them that you have an incurable chronic illness that needs to constantly be taken care of.  Tell them that if you don't get this support, your disease will only get worse and everyone will be affected by it. 

I have found that most people who are healthy take it for granted and cannot fathom what it's like to face losing everything because of illness.  So many people believe that I make myself sick because my disease is in my gut.  They do not understand that I'm suffering from an autoimmune disorder that is relentless and chronic and has very little to do with my emotional health.  Just take care of you first.  Join a support group, take time for yourself to do things you enjoy, listen to music, take bubble baths, garden, visit friends, do volunteer work, anything to boost your morale to find happiness in your life.  Make sure you have a doctor that listens to you and is making progress in your treatment.  Read everything you can about your disease and take action to be the best you can be.

I wish you luck, better health, and happiness.

 Reply posted for Marshyliz.

Wow it does sound like you are under a great deal of stress. I've been in the same position as far as people not understanding the disease and it is very frustrating. I actually just got out of the hospital two days ago after a flare up and all my dad kept saying was "you look fine" when I clearly was not. When I get really stressed I try to do activities like meditation, yoga, watching a funny movie, or talking to a good friend on the phone. These things just seem to help calm me down. As far as your daughter, I'm a therapist and I work with many teenagers who have bipolar and I know this can be a huge struggle for parents. I think you're doing the right thing by limiting conversations with her so you don't get stressed out and sick. Perhaps if you gave her some references to read about your disease so she understands it better? I hope things get better for you!