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No one wants to talk


Mon, September 13, 2010 5:52 PM

I've been recently diagnosed with crohns. For over a year I thought I had ulcerative colitis but since the doctor who originally did my scope and biopsies never got back to me with biopsy results or even a treatment plan it was left unchecked and spread aggressively. Finally I got so bad and went to the ER, had a blood transfusion and a new scope. My blood work and  biopsies just came back a few days ago saying I have crohns. It took me a few days to accept crohns, I didn't know how to take it. I'm finally ready to talk about it and accept it now...but all my family and friends don't seem to care. I ask them questions to start talking about it and they'll answer a few then tell me they don't want to talk about it, I ask my fiancee questions and he told me I was obsessing over it. I'm ready to talk about it and want to take a healthy aproach to it but it seems like everyone doesn't care...

FPO lookame
Joined Sep 13, 2010

Tue, September 21, 2010 6:42 PM

 Reply posted for lookame.

so sorry to hear that your family is not understanding.  It's their lack of knowledge about the disease .  Give them this web site address so they can get informed.  So many people choose to stay blind to this disease.  That is not the right approach and is not helpful at all for the person with the disease.  I know what you are feeling.  My family has chosen to be unsupportive and they choose to believe what they wish despite what I say.  I have come to terms with the fact that I will not be able to get them to understand me and/or this disease.   

Get support from the people that understand and want to support you.  Come back to this site for support.  I understand you and i'm sure others' can relate as well.  This site has helped me greatly!  I don't know how I would feel without the support that I've gotten from here.  If you  need to vent or talk.... i'm here for you.

FPO alivein315
Joined May 30, 2009

Wed, September 15, 2010 2:14 PM

 Reply posted for Joe.

Thanks for all the advice. I think my mom is scared because she has a lot of the same symptoms as me but has never been checked for crohns, guess she always chalked it up to IBS. I'm the first in my family ever to have something like this so I can see how it would be rather confusing for everyone. I know my fiancee will be there for me if I get bad(I ended up in the hospital a few weeks ago which lead to my diagnosis, this was after a very long flare...over a year long he's been there through this entire thing) I think maybe he's just tired of hearing about it. I have found comfort in talking with a close friend and coworker of mine. She's seen some of the bad things and listens when I need to vent about it she also pokes fun at the disease when I'm feeling good to help loosen up the fact that I do have it, joking about it has made me accept it a little better, makes it seem not as serious. I've also been doing online support groups which helps a lot too, I just wish I could talk to family more about it

FPO lookame
Joined Sep 13, 2010

Tue, September 14, 2010 8:09 PM

 Reply posted for lookame.

I am so sorry to hear that your family and fiance aren't being supportive and understanding when you are obviously going through a really tough time right now. Maybe they are just scared because they don't know much about CD so they would rather just pretend like you aren't sick. I don't know, just speculating. Honestly, I'd be frustrated, disappointed and a little angry about them being so nonchalant about your diagnosis. Maybe they need to read more information on CD, perhaps you could print out some good articles for them to read about CD, or show them some of the personal stories shared on this site.

Best of luck to you...take care.

FPO marci1969
Joined Aug 19, 2010

Tue, September 14, 2010 7:29 PM

 Reply posted for lookame.

I can understand how you feel.  After a year of being sick I was told in July after an ER trip I have Crohns.  I try to talk with my fiance about it but he never responds back.  I need to know how he feel and that he will be there for me at my low point.  He missed the low point in July because we had split up for a while, so now I worrie that if he sees a really bad flare up he will not be able to deal with it.  I wish I could say give them all time but being able to talk can not wait.  I have found help on here and people are great, we all understand so it makes it easier.  If you need to talk I am here for you I know it is not the same as family but it might help.  We can get threw this by leaning on one another if you would like.  I wish you all the best.

Sam

FPO samanthajay
Joined Jun 4, 2010

Mon, September 13, 2010 10:09 PM

 Reply posted for lookame.

Check "Chapters and Events" on this website and see if there is a support group  in your area. "The Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis Fact Book" by the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America, Inc. ISBN 0-684-17967-9. "Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis, everything you need to know". by Fred Saibil, M.D., ISBN1-55297-771-4.

                 Joe

FPO joe
Joined Oct 24, 2019

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