I am 22 years old and was diagnosed with Crohn's colitis a little over 2
years ago. I have never posted on anything like this before, but I feel
it is time that I get some support from others who know what I am going
through. I recently started a graduate school program clear across the
country. My grad program is not like any regular program, it requires
me to be very physically active, emotionally strong, and work ridiculous
hours all while taking classes. I have had fissures in the past, which
healed with medication. It seemed that as soon as I got out here I
began getting sick again and began having lots of blood in my bowel
movements. I found a doctor here and had a whole battery of tests.
They found out that I have a large anal fissure and a rectovaginal
fistula that needs to be repaired and I need to go on Remicade. It has
been nearly 2 months since the new symptoms started and I am only getting
worse. I have lots of abdominal, rectal, back, and joint pain. I want
to go home to get my surgery done, but it may ruin my academics. I didn't ask for this disease and I didn't ask it to flare up now right at one of the key points of my career. I feel
like this disease is winning. I am going to have to take a medical
leave from graduate school and hopefully they will let me return either
for the next semester or next fall. I am just so stressed out, which is
making my symptoms worse, and I feel like I'm giving up my dreams because of this stupid
disease. I am very very lucky that I have very supportive parents who will help me with finances, health care, and living back home. I feel like such a burden to everyone. I don't know exactly what I am looking for in this post. Maybe some relief because I was able to type how I feel, maybe someone will have some advice or encouraging words. Thanks for letting me write my feelings and concerns.
Reply posted for kels.
I am sorry you are going through this "bump" in the road right now...I know the timing couldn't be any worse. I am the mother of a CD patient (who is 10 now, but was only 4 when diagnosed) From a mother's perspective, don't every, ever feel like a burden. Good grief, we are parents and it is our job to be there for our children through the good and not so good times. I agree with your other posts, talk with your school to retain the medical leave of absence. Then high tail it home to your family, friends and docs. Once you are healed, grad school will be waiting and you can kick some serious bootie. Don't give up on your dream career. I have always instilled in my children....if you can dream it, you can achieve it! Also, don't let this condition define you, fight a good fight and define it!
Lizzies Mom
Reply posted for kels.
Please don't give up. Accept that you're having a bad patch right now, make the arrangements for time off, and rest while you heal. You simply can't push yourself any harder right now. Grad school will still be standing there when you return, but you will be ready to tackle it once you've recovered.
Reply posted for kels.
Yes, by all means, take care of your health. Nothing is more important. Live to fight another day, etc., etc. Living with a chronic health condition is liking playing a game of chess, you don't have enough pieces on the board right now in the right places. Survival trumps all.
Joe