can we make it?
Sun, February 13, 2011 2:40 PM
this is my first time posting on here, or anywhere else for that matter. My fiance and I both suffer with ibd.. so double stress. I am one of the lucky ones that does well w/ drugs but I do have other issues to complicate thngs. I have had 2 surgeries in the past year for scar tissue. and heart probs. my fiance however is just too resistant to any drugs. The entire reason we met was because of this disease. I felt this shared sense of understanding w/ him. He ended up in the hospital for over a month shortly after the summer we met... I was there by his side. BUT when I had my 1st surgey he was nowhere to be found...I felt very let down because I knew I would have been there for him. He was the 1st person I contacted when the drugs wore off..and he seemed very apathetic bc he was enjoying a period of remission. Long story short... somehow someway... we ended up together a year later. Finally,someone who understands what I mean when I say I am too tired... or I dont feel well...if one of us gets up during a date to find a bathroom. its this mutual understanding that brought us so close. We got engaged this past summer and I knew in my heart it was right. Very recently I got pretty sick again...spent a month in bed before another surgery n he was there for me this time.The flip side of this... he started Remicade in May,worked ok but he landed back in hospital by Oct so they started double dosing him. now it has stopped working. he has been spiraling. I understand.its not at all his fault...but...with me having the rare break where I feel decent.. and working hard all week..the wknd rolls around and I jsut want to get out.. see a movie..take my dog to the park..enjoy each other like we used to. but he is laid up in bed. I feel like a terrible human being for feeling this way. I knw he doesnt choose this...and I know he is suffering right now. but sometimes I jsut wonder...can two sick people really make it work. with the psychological/physical/ financial stress...
sarahandderekJoined Feb 13, 2011
Wed, February 23, 2011 8:57 AM
Reply posted for sarahandderek.
That is the million dollar questions that everybody has (regardless of medical background). Divorce has been steady in the US @ 50% for years and years. Half of the marriages make it and half don't. I don't think there is any way to be absolutely certain......all I can say is it takes a commitment from both parties.
Lizzies Mom
Joined Sep 9, 2009
Tue, February 22, 2011 11:07 AM
Reply posted for sarahandderek.
Wow.
I do understand. I have Crohn's and my other half has RA and D.Spinal Disease. Sometimes I want to run away. He does not understand that grilled chicken in a restaurant can upset my tummy but grilled chicken at home does not. It is a struggle.
To answer your question- Yes you can make it. A successful relationship takes give and take constantly. Both of you have to make the decision to make it work.
Joined Jan 5, 2009