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 Reply posted for sassytmw.

never stay with someone bc of fear, especially if they are in any way abusive. it sounds like you know that already, but it is important enough for me to say it again. he may love you, but that doesn't mean that he has the right to treat you the wrong way, and it doesn't mean that he will be the only one to ever love you.  a boyfriend should be a source of support, not stress.  you should be more afraid of what staying with him will do to you as a person than  you should be of being alone.  it sounds like you have been talking to your therapist about this, and i'd encourage you to continue.  you should be as healthy as possible in all ways, not just physically, and an unhealthy relationship doesn't allow that to happen. 

breakups are always hard to handle, but at least its only temporary, and the sooner you get it over with the better.  pull a group of girl friends together to help you get through it.

i'm sorry if it seems like i'm pushing the issue too hard, but i had a huge *** of a boyfriend years ago, and had a difficult time getting rid of him because i really felt that we were in love with each other and that i could just deal with all of his issues... and staying with him just was not worth it at all.  i can't say that it didn't hurt at first, because it did... but i honestly got over it much quicker than i thought i would. and its much easier to end it during a calm time when you're thinking as rationally as possible, not in the heat of an argument.

i really hope everything goes well for you.  take care of yourself, and let me know if i might be able to help you with anything.

 Reply posted for Jessi Messy.

Thanks to you ALL for your replys! I've tried taking him to doctors appointments and even to a talk that was set up by the ccfa in my town.  But hes so obsessed with his OWN treatments for me.  He thinks that the doctors are all crazy.  I've had this disease for 10yrs, its been a battle and I've always been praised for being so strong but he thinks other wise.  He has actually told me that I like being sick.   I come to realize that I am in an emotionally abusive relationhip... now that said I am working on dealing with it.  I'm talking the talk but can i walk the walk?  I started picking up on this months ago but just been scared to speak up or tell anyone.  But Sunday night when he forced me to go out with friends untill 3am, after being in the bathroom all day...... i was told many times NOT to RUIN tonight, but when around people was asked honey are you ok?  Still feeling good?  I am scared to be alone.  I've tired so hard with him and I do know that he loves me.  I just really believe, and my therapist belives that he is bipolar!!  Bad.  I need to get out.  I know I do , I'm just really scared.   As much as he tells me i am crazy... I am starting to think it but not cause i'm just a crazy person but because i continue to stay with him in fear............

 Reply posted for sassytmw.

I can't believe the things that my boyfriend has gone through with me. At my very worst point I wondered why someone as wonderful as he is would want to be with a girl held behind by Crohn's disease. He held my hand when I was diagnosed, and when they ended up giving me an ileostomy he learned how to take care of it before I would even look at it. He has washed, brushed and blow dried my hair when I wasn't able, did all of the household chores when I didn't feel well, carried me down 2 flights of stairs to put me in the car to go to the hospital, did anything I needed in a heartbeat, and looked at me with an ostomy and a central line in, almost 25lbs lighter than when he met me, and with a prednisone induced moon face and told me that I'm the most beatiful girl he's ever seen.

Break ups are always hard, and if you don't want to let go just yet, give yourself a set time in which you want to see him make ALL of the changes he needs to make in order to make your relationship healthy. If you don't want to wait and see if he's capable of that, or already know he's not, or you've just already passed the time for him to make changes, just let him go and allow yourself to find somebody who is Wonderful.

 Reply posted for sassytmw.

If you love him and he loves you, it may be helpful to take him with you to an appointment.  I know from the beginning my boyfriend (who is now my husband) has always been supportive but when he went to one of my appointments with me and heard the doctor explain how UC works, he had a better understanding of just how bad the disease can be.

Good luck!

 Reply posted for sassytmw.

Sounds like you already know the answer, just read your post......"Mr. Wonderful isn't so Wonderful".   I am probably a lot older than you (unfortunately these days it seems many are younger), anyway, the stress caused by an unstable relationship only adds fuel to the fire.  I understand you love him, and it will be difficult in the beginning w/o him, but there are more understanding people that would be kinder and more caring.  This is only my opinion.  All my best

Lizzies Mom

 Reply posted for sassytmw.

I know it must be difficult when you've known someone for so long and have so much love for him.

Maybe, because this is a new you, he just needs some time to let this sink in and really come to terms with it. And once he does, he may be wonderful again. He must be really angry that something like this is happening to somebody that means the world to him.

Or maybe 10 years have formed him into a pig.

This is for you to decide. (As if you don't have enough to deal with.) Talk with him. Be patient. Listen to your heart. Be strong. You will know what to do.