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I'm 22 and recently diagnosed with crohn's disease. I live with my mom, who is not well off financially and is too old to work as hard as she does cleaning houses to help support this family. I used to work with her on my days off, plus work my own jobs and go to college full time. Staying busy has always kept me sane. However, I've been having a really bad flare since january, and haven't had a job all year, and also haven't been able to help her with her jobs. I feel like at my age I should be out of my mom's basement, or at least helping her out more financially or something, but most days lately, she goes to work and I lay on the couch at home. She would never ever hold that against me, and is very supportive, but it makes me feel like a piece of s#*t. Also my boyfriend has been super sweet and supportive the whole time I've been sick, but I just have NO sex drive and lots of days my symptoms are so severe that I just have these random meltdowns on him all day. Sometimes this disease makes me feel completely useless and guilty because I want to do more for myself and for the people I love, but I'm so limited. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way, right?

 Reply posted for siesb88.

I am also 22 years old and have had Crohn's for about 7 years. I know exactly how you feel. There are some days I just feel like, why am I still on this Earth? but then some days are decent. I got married December 2009 and May 2010 I had an emergency bowel resection. Also had many other complications while I was in the hospital for 2 weeks. I have not been the same emotionally for awhile. I have been on antidepressants on and off this past year. Tomorrow I am actually going to see a counselor, I'm very excited :) I'm hoping she can help me be okay with my disease and accept it. I am currently working full time but am on intermittent FMLA so whenever I am sick I am allowed to miss work, just not paid.

Crohn's takes an emotional toll it really does. You have to be a strong person even though you just want to give up and cry. Its hard to realize that there are other people in the world that have it way worse than us Crohnie's. That is one thing that has always made me get through alot, knowing that eventually I won't be in a flare and will be semi-normal lol

I have stopped taking my weekly dose of Humira (my GI doesn't know, I haven't gotten the guts up to tell her I stopped it on my own) and I am feeling wayyyy better.

I'm here if you ever want to talk :)

 Reply posted for siesb88.

Thanks to everyone for the kind words. It's nice to know that there are people out there who truly know how this feels, even though it sucks for all of us that we have to.

 Reply posted for PyroZack.

Don't feel that just because you have IBD you can't achieve the things you want to in life!! I made it through nursing school,  and I have a job that I absolutely love! In fact I've debated going back to school (I'm only an lpn) but I actually love my job so much that I don't have the motivation to go back to school and do something different.

I work with a pediatric home nursing agency, and they've always been extremely supportive when I'm going through hard times with my CD. They actually encouraged me to take time to go see another specialist and get better.  I was even taking care of a kid with a PICC line while I had my own PICC line... to a 4 year old who hadn't ever really had the chance to see that she was not the only one who had that kind of stuff, it was pretty cool to have a nurse who had one too.

I didn't graduate with the class I started out with in nursing school, partially because I'd missed so many days while I was ill (I didn't know that I had Crohn's at that point, all my symptoms had just started) and partially because there were a lot of changes otherwise going on in my life... but they let me finish with another class.  So- yeah, I had to do it a little bit differently than everybody else did, but it was worth it to be able to do what I do now.

I know that IBD complicates things, but don't give up on yourself! If IBD is gonna make you miserable, you may as well figure out what it is you really want to do in life.

And, yup, there have been days when I have felt so down in the dumps that I'd never be able to write a post like this one.

Who knows, maybe you've even seen what my posts look like on a bad day! I actually vowed to myself when I was feeling so horrible that when I felt better I wasn't going to stop coming to this site just so I could say that yes, it does get better. Sometimes it seems impossible, but you just have to give yourself the time, know who you are and that IBD IS NOT WHO YOU ARE and DOES NOT DEFINE YOU, and never stop trying.

 Reply posted for siesb88.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time but it sounds like you have supportive mom and boyfriend which is good. Don't get down on  yourself you will get better and feel better then you can do more. Obviously you did a lot before this flair as well too so just remember that. Its not that your laying at home being lazy your not feeling great and have to take care of yourself you are not useless. I hope you start feeling better very soon and just know you can always come here and talk to people who can relate!

 Reply posted for siesb88.

No, you certainly aren't the only one. I've definitely been there.  Just as I was moving into a new house I had a flare... my boyfriend and I bought the house at a really good price knowing there was a lot of work to be done.  I ended up in the hospital the day after we closed, and I felt horrible that my boyfriend and his family ended up having to do so much work when I wasn't able to help.  I know they understood that I was sick... but it does still feel crummy. 

When I was diagnosed, I was 23, and living with my boyfriend at his mom's house... she was always totally accommodating, but you do feel like you're in the way at somebody else's house.  Don't feel too bad about being at your mom's house at your age though.  I think most people in their early 20's still live at home anymore.  BOTH of my healthy brothers still live with my dad in their early 20's!

In May I needed surgery and came home with an ileostomy... a couple days after the surgery I completely broke down in the bathroom and cried to my boyfriend that he deserved a different girlfriend who could go out and do fun things, and live a normal life... and all the while he was telling me that he loved me and I was beautiful (even as I was standing in front of him with an ostomy bag and puffy red eyes with mascara rubbed all around them from crying!)  But when you feel so crummy, it's hard to feel beautiful no matter what anyone tells you, isn't it?

This disease can really put you on an emotional roller coaster! When I start to feel like everyone is having to help me, and I'm not able to do much in return I just make sure that I let them know how much I love and care about them and how much I appreciate all that they do. When you're feeling better you'll be able to do more again! =)

Take care, and I hope you get to feeling better soon!

 Reply posted for siesb88.

I just wanna hug and cry with you. I'm 24, just about 25, and that's pretty much the exact same thing I said a few years ago. Mine started when I was 15 so I never really had a chance to mature, grow, or develop. It took me several years to even get emotionally up to par. And yeah, our culture definitely says that our worth is defined by where we work, where we went to college, and basically the tangible, financial side of our lives. Whenever you're handed a disease like this, that stuff isn't possible.

I'm about to marry a gal with a three year old girl. She, because she suddenly had a daughter to take care of, couldn't finish her degree, so neither of us are going to exactly have great incomes. I just sit on social security income and play games all day. I mean really. Without sermons and video games...buh...anyway...