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hi, i had bad colitis for two years and then had my colon removed at 21.  now at almost 25 i am not feeling totally better, and one of the biggest struggles is feeling emotionally well.  i had an eating disorder before i was diagnosed with uc, so i feel like i brought the ibd upon myself.  yes, it's definitely in my family--my uncle died from it in the 80's, they didn't know enough about it then i'm sure.  they did *** up on my surgery and instead of being incapacitated a couple months, i was sick until i was halfway through being 22. two full years have gone by since the successful reconnect, but i spend so much of my day just feeling different and ultimately disgusting, cleaning poop of the toilet seats makes me want to vomit and cry at the same time, it's so shameful.  i am finally going back to school but i don't know what else i'm going to do in my life with work or my relationships or when i can get health insurance again so i can start taking better care of myself.  i'm just nowhere that i thought i'd be by 25.  i blame myself and i'm ashamed of myself, it's truly difficult staying positive.  i've heard that uc is most often diagnosed in your twenties, so how come i haven't met any other people my age going through this?  i spent most of 21 and 22 on a sixteen to twenty hour iv drip through a picc line.  how am i supposed to jump back into the real world after something like that?  i just can't recover, every time i bounce back to life i seem to bounce right back into bed somehow--january c. diff and now i find out i have polycystic ovary syndrome--and then i don't much see the point in leaving said mattress.  any pointers?
thanks, 
kelsey

 Reply posted for hey2308.

I had problems with being positive for a while too. Every now and again, set things up as a fun night out for you that you can look forward to instead of worrying about your sickness. It always helps to have something that will keep you happy. Also, I have found that sitting with my cats helps me be positive. Cats are very good for relieving stress. Also, there are hobbies that might help. Whenever I feel sad or depressed I like to bake or sing. Maybe you like art? Maybe you like martial arts? Finding something to do that makes you feel happy is great for staying positive. Also-if you ever get stressed out, it's mentally impossible to be angry and anxious at the same time, so doing something to express anger (beating a tree with a bat, screaming...etc.) to get rid of that "oh my god, what do I do" feeling. All of these helped me out a ton, and I hope they work for you too. Hang in there!

 Reply posted for Lizzies Mom.

Hello, I feel overwhelmed.  My daughter got diagnosed August this year and its just tearing me apart.  Shes13 years old and has ulcerative colitis.  Everyday since then Ive been studying this illness and the SCD diet to help her fight this uglyness.  I just sometimes find myself crying alot and always worried about her.  I myself have to pray alot and give it to GOD!!!  It has did one thing and thats brought our relationship much closer. 

 Reply posted for Lizzies Mom.

I have had Crohn's disease for about 15 years now and it can seem like there is never a light at the end of the tunnel.  I can assure you that there is. I don't have any family members with Crohn's so it's hard. I live in a small town and it's hard finding the right kind of support. Yes, they can listen with sympathy in their hearts, but they will never understand. Even people with IBD might have trouble because it's different for everyone of us.  I've tried everything myself. Frustration and loneliness is a best friend. Then, after a while, I learned that that isn't true. I don't know your beliefs but, I found out that there is someone who will always understand. God. I always believed in Him but was never into the whole religion thing. I'm still not. But what has changed for me is the fact that once I let it go and let God, I haven't had an IBD problem since. I was on the severe list of IBD. I was supposed to have died a number of times. But, I am still here. There is a reason for it, I know.  I wanted to give up at times. I also knew I was very determined. I just got on my knees one day, fed up with meds, doctors and surgeries, and just prayed. I told Him I wasn't putting up with his anymore. He promised us healing. He took it all on the cross so I wasn't going to take it any longer. I just gave it all to Him. I told Him that He was going to fix it because I've had it up to here with it all.  Every day, I believed that He could heal me. I didn't look at what was wrong with me, I looked at what was going to be right. I said that I was healed and I wasn't going to accept less.
It's been almost 3 years since I've taken any medication.  I am having my reconnection surgery on the 6th. And all without the doctor's help.
What do you have to lose by trying? Prayer does work, regardless of what others say.
Just try it, believe it for a couple of weeks.
God Bless,
Stacy

 Reply posted for hey2308.

Kelsey,

My heart goes out to you.  Have you tried talking with a social worker or finding a local support group?   I know when Liz was diagnosed I was against support groups, after all, in my mind, they were for the weak!  Man, was I wrong!   Liz and I attended them together, the meetings were held simultaneously so parents were right next door to the kids.   It gave her an opportunity to meet other children who were just like herself, and gave me the opportunity to realize, "hey, I'm not the only parent dealing with this".    The meetings were quite helpful and we stopped going after a while because Liz was the youngest (probably 8 at the time) and all the other kids were teens.   I felt the teens were chipping away at her free spirit a bit at a time. 
What are some of your activities/interests?   Try getting back to them to some level.  You may even want to try something new. My eldest daughter last year stopped taking ballet dance after 13 years and I saw she was so depressed.  I mentioned taking yoga, she put it off for months.   Just last week she took her first class and is hooked.  She feels much better both on the outside, but more importantly on the inside. 
Have you called your local CCFA office?  Perhaps you could get involved there.  I'm sure they could always use the extra help. 
Take baby steps.   Promise yourself to take the initiative every day to do something, don't become a shut in.  Get out, maybe take some college classes, feed your mind and your soul.   You are too young and have a lifetime to look forward to.
Be well
Lizzies Mom