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How to help long distance boyfriend with Crohn's


Tue, October 11, 2016 5:23 PM

Hello, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now and for the past 2 months we've been dating long distance. He was diagnosed with Crohn's this past summer, and I really need advice on how to help and support him more. I feel as though I only stress him out and make it worse sometimes with dealing with my own problems without putting into perspective that whatever I am going through, he is going through worse. It's been really difficult lately because I can't physically see him and I don't know how he is feeling all the time. Any advice on how to help someone you love with Crohn's disease without overwhelming them/burning yourself out? Thank you

FPO hmsteve
Joined Oct 11, 2016

Mon, October 31, 2016 11:43 AM

 Reply posted for hmsteve.

****** very sorry that sent 3 times :/

FPO mads
Joined Oct 2, 2016

Mon, October 31, 2016 11:40 AM

i don't really know what to say other than be his friend, not his doctor. so many people i know have tried to doctor me or give me advice and i just want them to stop. i've had crohns 8+ years and been with my boyfriend for 2. he is learning and is right there with me and often feels overwhelmed he can't help me. but you have to realize it's not your burden, it's ours. just be there like you were before. just as loving. you don't need to be our doctor or parent. as bad as it sounds he'll get into the rhythm of his crohns and know what's more constant (normal for him) and what's a really bad day - every day is a challenge but some days are really hard. my two closest friends moved and every week or do ask me how i'm doing - that i don't mind; that feels nice. just be normal. ask him how is day was and if it's anything about crohns maybe ask him how he's dealing with it or send him this way.

FPO mads
Joined Oct 2, 2016

Mon, October 31, 2016 11:39 AM

i don't really know what to say other than be his friend, not his doctor. so many people i know have tried to doctor me or give me advice and i just want them to stop. i've had crohns 8+ years and been with my boyfriend for 2. he is learning and is right there with me and often feels overwhelmed he can't help me. but you have to realize it's not your burden, it's ours. just be there like you were before. just as loving. you don't need to be our doctor or parent. as bad as it sounds he'll get into the rhythm of his crohns and know what's more constant (normal for him) and what's a really bad day - every day is a challenge but some days are really hard. my two closest friends moved and every week or do ask me how i'm doing - that i don't mind; that feels nice. just be normal.

FPO mads
Joined Oct 2, 2016

Mon, October 31, 2016 11:38 AM

i don't really know what to say other than be his friend, not his doctor. so many people i know have tried to doctor me or give me advice and i just want them to stop. i've had crohns 8+ years and been with my boyfriend for 2. he is learning and is right there with me and often feels overwhelmed he can't help me. but you have to realize it's not your burden, it's ours. just be there like you were before. just as loving. you don't need to be our doctor or parent. as bad as it sounds he'll get into the rhythm of his crohns and know what's more constant (normal for him) and what's a really bad day - every day is a challenge but some days are really hard. my two closest friends moved and every week or do ask me how i'm doing - that i don't mind; that feels nice. just be normal.

FPO mads
Joined Oct 2, 2016

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