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My 16-year-old son just spent 10 days in the hospital after 3 days at home with vomiting and bloody diarrhea.  I spent every night in the hospital with him, per his request.  His sister (14) spend that time at my parents' home. I am struggling with helping him accept his condition, the (hopefully temporary) limitations being placed on him, and empowering him to make the right decisions.  Our dr and dietician put him on a low fiber/low residue & lactose free diet.  He and I agreed that once/week he can start to introduce a favorite food from the 'naughty' list and see how his body reacts to it.  He got home today and has already been trying to get into everything he knows he's not supposed to have.  He has a diagnosis of severe ADHD and ODD with significant impulse control issues - do I let him make poor choices knowing the risks of another hospital stay are pretty good since his condition is not anywhere near remission at this point?  Or do I lock up/throw away everything he can't eat which significantly impacts what his sister and I have access to?  I'm sure there is a middle ground somewhere, but I can't see it for my fear/frustrations for his future.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! 

 Reply posted for jkkzmom.

Hello there.  Sorry about you son's diagnosis.  I know its hard.  My son was diagnosed a year ago at the age of 7 with Crohns.  He is 8 now.  When I voiced my concern about how young my son was the doctor made a point to let me know that kids in my son's age group are  more compliant than a teenager would be and that when he is a teenager he will probably try to challenge his treatment more.  I appreciated the warning from the doctor but wanted to let you know to hang in there and keep trying to encourage him.  Teenagers are hard enough to reason with and I can't imagine having to deal with an IBD in combination with your son's other conditions.  Try your best but he may have to feel for himself what happens when he eats the foods he is not supposed to.  Take care and I will keep you in my thoughts.  God Bless. 

 Reply posted for jkkzmom.

My son age 15 was also just recently diagosed  with crohns a week ago.  I understand the frustrations you must have of wanting to help your son and understand exactly what we are dealing with.  we were also told by doctors to stay on a low fiber diet until the flare ups subsided.  Of course, my son is a bit angry and moody.  He is mad because he thinks he won't be able to eat many of his favorite foods.  I expained that some foods are going to make you feel very sick and probably cause you to go the bathroom a lot, while others won;t have such a bad effect.  I simply gave him a choice of how he would like to feel- sick or better?  Knowing my son, I knew he would want to feel better, because the alternative is to feel lousy.  He is however, still pretty moody and angry at times.  I think with more understanding of how to deal with this disease and support from other teenagers with crohns will be helpful.  The hard part will be to try and convince our kids to participate and be responsible in the care and treatment of this disease, especially because they will have to live with this for the rest of their lives.

Don;t give up, be patient, and always tell your son how much you love him and that you will always be there for him.

Derek's mom,

Michele

 Reply posted for jkkzmom.

My daughter was diagnosed with CD at the age of 5.   She was sick from infancy and it took a number of years and mis-diagnosis to get it right.   She doesn't have any recollection of not being on medicine or not having a "special belly" as we call it.   

I have often wondered which is better, having a child diagnosed so young that she doesn't miss any of the "no-no" food because she never had it to begin with or if it is better to have an older child diagnosed later in life and having to learn a different lifestyle.

I agree with you that there has to be a happy medium.   Some things that I find helpful is learn the belly-safe foods and stock the house.  I always have extra on hand for those just in case times.  Such as a movie day in school where they typically have popcorn, I always send in Pirate Booty or pretzels.  The kids think I'm cool and they have no clue of the reason why I always send in a (safe) snack.

Try to put yourself in your son's shoes.  It is tough to be a kid these days, let alone adding the diangosis IBS  / ADHD/, etc. 

Check with your doc. about a support group for teens, our hospital has one and tends to help...just knowing they and you are not alone. 

It is a lifestyle change that will eventually become second nature to the entire family, but it is going to take time.  I know how difficult it is and it will get better.

Lizzies Mom