Community Forum

Hello,

Well I guess I should start off saying that I was diagnosed with "non-specific colitius" back in 1999 and my son was recently diagnosed with IBD.  We've kept our symptoms under control with diet, exercise and fiber tablets.  So far our only trigger is stress, unfortunately dealing with a bitter ex husband for 5 year and now newly remarried I've had quit a bit lately, so I am dealing with flair ups.

Anyway.  My new husband is 47 yrs. old and was diagnosed when he was 19 with Crohns.  Several years ago, he had had 6 in. of small intestine removed and is now on 3 different types of medication. He also does have to go in every 6 months to have a section "stretched".

The thing is he refuses to watch what he eats and drinks.  He main drink of choice is Mt. Dew.  He never drinks water or milk and will very rarely drink some form of juice but only if I nag- which I hate doing.  He eats very few vegtables and only canned which has no nutritional value.  His excuse is that he takes vitamin supplements and a monthly B vitamin shot.  Most of the time he skips lunch and depending on what I cook will only eat a kids cereal or a half of a peanut butter sandwich for dinner.  He also eats candy like there's no tomorrow. 

Before we got married his excuse to me was that he didn't have enough money to buy food so he just did without or ate poorly; I have since found out that's not true.  He simply chooses to be like this.  He is malnourished and underweight (5"10" and maybe 145 lbs dripping wet) is now taking potassium and iron tablets and has been told he could end up in the hospital.  I am beside myself in trying to figure out what to do .

Has anyone else had to struggle with the emotional/mental issues of their loved one because of their illness or the medications they may have been taking? What did you do to improve things?

 Reply posted for kattam.

Hi,

I had read what was going on and I know it must be very stresfull watching his bahavior.  It sounds like he is in pure deniel about having Crohns, and may be taking it for granted that things could be much worce with his situation with the Crohns.  Seeing a therapist could be a huge help for him, or especially talking with people who have Crohns also.  I was diagnosed in '87, and went years with no reacurrence. 

In '03, it the Crohns started up again, so to make this short, I have had about 8 operations.  It was at the point that I had to get a partial Colectomy with a permanant Ostomy.  It was the best thing I could have done.  I had been on Remicade and Imuran and those meds all stopped working. I had been a Federal Law Enforcement Officer to and I had to stop working, due to the Crohns was so out of control.  Getting the Ostomy was confusing at first, but I have never been better, and trying my best to get back in to police work.  So I my advise would be for him is to be aggressive and to not let the Crohns get out of hand get it under control.  That would not be fair to himself or you, hopefully you are already with a GI doctor you like, and that you all can develop the best plan of attack for the Crohns.  It mentally would make him and your family feel much,  better, and  to build for him to build up more confidence it getting control of the Crohns. 

I personally cant wait to start playing hockey again and get back into police work.   So he should stay motivated and get the care that is there. Remicade can to great things for some people, I'm on Humira now and it is working great, and so easy to use.  Hope you all hang tough,  and there are great options there to hit the Crohns hard and get control of it, a good GI doctor can develope a plan.   Take care, and I hope this advise helps you,  him and your family.

 Reply posted for kattam.

Wow, I think you are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself and daughter.   If / when hubby chooses to help himself, or accept your kindness, it is up to him.   Sometimes hitting rock bottom (yes, maybe even a hospital stay)  is what it takes for somebody to turnaround.

In the meantime, make the best of the situation.  Over the years I've been complimented for making lemonade out of lemons, try to do the same.    Good luck, know that there are lots of understanding people in this community, and a place to turn when things get tough.

Be well,

Lizzies Mom

 Reply posted for Lizzies Mom.

Thanks Lizzie's Mom, I appreciate the advice.

The problem is that my daughter and I try to eat healthy, most of the time we are successful other times... well we are not perfect and potato chips are a weakness lol. 

I refuse to cook two separate meals just to appease my husband and he refuses to simply TASTE things.  It's not like I cook exotic stuff or that I'm a bad cook, he's just lived alone for 7 years and developed HORRIFIC eating habits. (constantly eating Frankenberry cereal straight out of the box for dinner just because he doesn't feel like fixing a meal for himself??)  He also thinks that my daughter, who is 12 and very active in soccer, and I should go without meals because "food is a luxury we cannot afford" but then turns around and buys many unneccesary items (like a $400 antique radio) online.

His attitude toward his health is that a pill takes care of everything and good nutrition doesn't matter.  It's this attitude that scares me because recently he was given a prescription for potassium tablets and iron tablets because he's potassium level was at a 1 (which is dangerous) and his hemoglobin was also dangerously low (he refused to tell me the number).  I am more concerned about him being hospitalized for self induced malnutrition/anorexia rather than malnutrition caused by his Crohns.

 Reply posted for kattam.

I have encountered somewhat of the same issues; the only difference is I'm dealing w/a 10 yr old.   My daughter has had CD since she was 4, and we have recently had our share of dinner table "words".   It had gotten to a point where I had to speak w/the social worker in her pedi gi's office. 

The social worker explained to me that my daughter may feel that all eyes are on her, especially when it comes time to eat a meal.   Her advice to me was "back off" a bit.   The social worker told me my daughter can be feeling extremely overhwhelmed by everyone at the table surveying her intake.   So, I followed her advice and took a more easy-going approach to all eating.  I have to tell you, in the beginning, it was hard, but after a week or so, it got easier and now I'm finding my daugher eating even more! (amen).    I make sure there are lots of "safe" snacks in the house and this way there are lots of options and alternatives to offer.  

I know there is definitely a big age difference, but after all, we are all kids at heart.   It may be worth a try......Good luck

Lizzies Mom