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School attendance is becoming an issue for my 11 year old son with Crohn's.  He is on a 504, however, getting him to go to school has become a daily battle.  Just wanted some feedback from other parents...should I send him to school if he is just having stomach cramps(no diarreah or other sx)?  Sometimes I think that the distraction of school would be better than the isolation at home, focusing on the pain.  I am not sure how tough to be with him.  The more school he misses, the more anxiety he has about going back.  My husband and I can't agree on when to send him to school and when not to, and my work life is becoming a challenge as it relates to accomodating my son.
Thanks for any feedback : ) Just want to do what is best.

 Reply posted for samsmom.

I deal with the same thing here! My daughter got diagnosed last year during Kindergarten and ended up missing about 13 days I think (spread out over the school year). She's the type who won't speak up and will tough it out all day so I have to really be careful on if I send her or not.

If her stomach hurts off and on, I try and send her. It's so often that she would have missed way too much otherwise. If it's really causing her alot of pain (she has anal fistula issues too) then I will keep her home.

One day she was so worn down from it all that she just sat there during recess. She wasn't that bad in the morning but before we got her meds figured out, she would go downhill fast once the Remicade wore off.

I feel so horrible sometimes and wonder if I'm doing the right thing. A huge amount of guilt ANYTIME I send her to school with any pain at all. Hopefully once she gets a little older, and we both get more used to this, we can both be a better judge on if she should be staying home or going to school that day.

 Reply posted for samsmom.

My son is 11 and has had crohns for 4 years.  He has not missed much school, thank god.  It is a very hard call but I think you have to try to encourage your child to go.  As far as work for you, I have intermittent FMLA on file, you may want to consider that.  Take care . 

 Reply posted for samsmom.

I know how you feel. My daughter was the same way. It's difficult as a parent new to Crohns. There were many times when I was beside myself worrying if I was pushing her too hard to get to school. Don't you sometimes wish you were psychic and could know how your child was feeling? To be honest, we told Sterling that when she doesn't feel good she is welcome to stay home but not to take advantage. It's up to her whether or not she wants to attend summer school. 

 Reply posted for samsmom.

I would say absolutely, the boy needs to be in school any chance that he gets.  However, I don't know the kid nor do I know how IBD is affecting him.  Also, I am just getting used to having it myself.  In Idaho, there are public schools that kids can take on-line but then on the same token, he wouldn't get the social interactions that are so important for kids.  If the kid is depressed, it might be a good idea to get the kid into some sort of counseling also, it might do a lot of good to talk to someone who will listen that isn't his parent.  Not going to school also allows the boy to isolate which will possibly make it harder for him to function with people in the future.  I guess I would find out why he doesn't want to go to school, there might be a lot more going on there then you might realize.

 Reply posted for Lizzies Mom.

Such a tough call. As much as possible, I would try to talk to your kid about it. Really get a sense of how he's doing, and how tough it is for him to deal with Crohn's at school. I agree that it's only going to get harder for him to go back to school, and somehow my gut is saying that homeschooling isn't the best call...does he have supportive teachers and friends that are in the loop?

 Reply posted for samsmom.

My daughter's Crohn's has been in remission for several years, but these past 2 years in high school (16 and 17 years old), she  doesn't want to go to school and when she does, she is often over an hour late.  I was making myself emotionally off-balance trying to get her to school.  Finally, my therapist suggested that I simply tell her twice that its getting up for school time and then leave the rest to her.  Many is the day I call the school and tell them that she just won't get out of bed.  She is dealing with depression, which the school knows about, but it sure takes a toll on my emotions, too. 

 Reply posted for samsmom.

My son will go to school when not feeling 100% (of course knowing he can call me at anytime to come get him if needed) I have not had to go pick him up yet... School/friends seem to provide the distraction needed.

 Reply posted for samsmom.

Hello.....I am the mom of a crohns patient as well.....I would love to help your son......please see our daughters story on Personal Stories.....Manzos....My 15 year old daughter is how it starts.  Her story is quite amazing.....getting the pain and cramping to go away would be a huge start and I know the natural supplements she is on would be helpful.....

 Reply posted for samsmom.

Our daughter has never given us problems, she's the exact opposite.  She doesn't want to stay home! 

One of the children from a support group we used to go to did the same thing and it was increasingly stressful for the whole family, siblings, parents, even the extended family (w/trying to p/u from school, staying home etc,).   The mom took a leave of absence to get things back to "normal".   

I remember she talked about good old bribery.  Taking baby steps, as long as he isn't symptomatic.    Go to school and try making it thru til snack time.  Ok, now, lets see if we can make it til lunch.....that sort of thing........then make a tremendous effort for the week, no issues,  and we'll do something special as a family this weekend.   

Does he know any other kids with IBD?   Our daughter didn't until we got involved in the support group, then Camp Oasis.   It helped her a lot, just know there are other kids just like herself.  He may be feeling very much like an outcast, and you are right with being absent, the stress alone only adds fuel to the fire.


Good luck!

Lizzies Mom