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I hope I am not invading your space but I am trying to get help to understand and support my boyfriend who is in denial.  He feels that the doctors made a mistake during the tests and caused him to have his problems.  He says that the medications that he was given for acid reflux caused his original problems.  When I can get him to take probiotics he feels and acts better but when he don't he is a bear.  He eats a lot of steaks and salads.  I was told that steak and salad was difficult to digest with someone who has Chrones or colitis.  I do not want to lose him physically or mentally but he seems to withdraw from everyone.

 Reply posted for JOSIAH91107.

It isvery hard for someone with crohn's to beak down foods such as salads and most red meats.  Anytime I ever try to eat any items like that, I get extremely sick!!  He needs to be careful and make sure he tkes his meds.  Good Luck!!

 Reply posted for JOSIAH91107.

I don't know where you live but, check to see if there is a local support group for people with UC/Crohn's and their loved ones.  It will help more than you can ever imagine.  If there isn't one, ask his GI doctor about help in starting one.  23 years ago, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and it was so severe there was no denying it.  For 3 years, I suffered with problems and could never get weaned off of prednisone.  I would get close and then the flareups would return.  The 1st yr, it was primarily the lowest 1/3 of the colon, yr 2 it was about 2/3 and by yr 3-the entire length of the colon.  At that point, my doctor said our options were limited and I decided to have a total colectomy and j-pouch.  GREAT!!!! I am free of uc!!  and I was. Not that you don't have some issues to deal with...I have had some leakage that occurs, primarily at night. But, in 2004, I started having cramping, bleeding, watery diarrhea (worse than usual).  Guess what?  I now had fistulizing Crohn's and it was extremely painful.  The fistula develped between my prostate, tail bone and rectum.  The pain was so bad 24 hours/day and hydrocodone only lessened it.  After getting cleared of the infection, I started taking Remicade and am thrilled to say that I have had NO problems since.  The surgery probably caused some nerve damage in the prostate area, the leakage issue when it occurs causes a mental downer, but Viagra does work.

 Reply posted for JOSIAH91107.

It only took me 13 years to finally have a colonoscopy and be diagnosed with UC  .  It got a bit worse once I quit smoking.  I once eliminated everything that they say I am allergic to, wheat, dairy from cows, and corn and that did help but it was impossible for me to keep up.  About 6 generic Imodium kept things "manageable" for the most part (really cheap at Sam's club).   Enema's certainly were not uncommon to wash out the irritants.   

I am glad I haven't been on predison or immunosuppressant  strong drugs for the last 13 years.   I am finally trying Asicol and Canasa with limited results. 

 Reply posted for JOSIAH91107.

I have now had Crohn's for almost 30 years.  When I was first diagnosed and for a long time afterwards, denial was my middle name.  That lasted for almost 10 years.  Then the disease became so severe I had no choice but to acknowledge it.

If your boyfriend is anything like me, he will do things in his own time, and there is little you or anyone can do to change him.  He will do the treatments and whatever else he needs to do when he gets tired of feeling bad.  Pushing him to do one thing or another will just cause him to be defensive and put off doing what he would otherwise do.  I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it is what I did.

Make sure he has the information he needs, love him and support him no matter what, and eventually he will come around.  That is the best I can offer you.

 Reply posted for JOSIAH91107.

Josia,  Like me your boyfriend is in complete denial.  I've had UC for almost 3 years, and there are some issues that i have to get past still.  My GI Doctor feels that the medication i'am taking now (Humira) may not be working so the next step is surgery, which has made me very concerned.  The foods i eat work with, and against me and i'am trying to do better. I was doing great for awhile, and now i think i'am flaring so things arn't the best.  I only advise i can give you is to just be there for him, and to let him know that you support him, but you won't baby him since he is a grown man who should get over some of the silly stuff and get serious about his health.  I'am sure he will get the hint at some point.  d.

 Reply posted for kdznplz.

Thank you for replying. To hear a man's point of view is important to me. He will discuss it with me and it helps the more he shares. I know when he hurts and when he doesn't feel well. When I get him to take probiotics called Flora Source that is mail ordered by a health food store he does really good and can even have a solid stool. I appreciate you talking with me and the more you talk to your wife the more she can have a better understanding of everything. They say the stress can be worse than the food you eat. Be open some of us out here care and to the ones who don't I'll pray for them.

 Reply posted for josh29152.

Thank you so very much for answering my plea. Have you ever tried probiotics? They make his disease a lot easier to handle when I can get him to take them. Flora Sourse is the best but it must be ordered through the health food store for $50.00 for a month supply. He feels that his disease will be cured through God and not through pills. I can tell the difference in his mood and how he feels when I talk him into taking them.

Again thank you!

 Reply posted for JOSIAH91107.

Everyones disease is different that is what makes this so confusing at times. I can eat meat but forget the salads.  A plain steak to me is fine but if it is seasoned with garlic or onion powder...well look out.  Also, at this point it does not matter what caused his disease (who knows) it matters that he take care of himself now...Try to stay strong and support him I know it is tough but I am sure he needs your support.

 Reply posted for kdznplz.

just re-read yours and want to add: i now only take 1 lialda daily (dr. wants me on 3, plus rowassa, which i stopped). instead, i've been experimenting with my diet, exercise, stress reduction and supplements. i started a probiotic a month ago and think it's really helping a lot. there's a lot of great info on this web site. personally, i won't go further with pharmaceuticals. the side effects aren't worth it to me. if i can't manage it this way, i'll have the j-pouch surgery done. i have colitis, crohn's is a little different.
btw, i'm still probably a little in denial, 15  years in. no one-especially someone with male ego-wants to admit they may soil themselves like a baby, even if it's a medical issue. it takes a while to realize it's not your fault, and you can't do anything about it if it happens. he'll have to find his own way to deal with the emotional aspects, which can be as difficult as the physical ones.

 Reply posted for JOSIAH91107.

He may be in denial. I suffered in silence for over two years before getting checked. I had diarrhea constantly and a couple "accidents" before I told my wife, even. I had been diagnosed for years before I told even my siblings and other relatives. It's not out fault we have this disease, but it can be embarassing for a man to admit he has a disease that may make him soil himself in public (or private, for that matter). I still have told relatively few, simply because I recognize it's not a disease-or symptoms-most people want to hear about. A good doctor will help him with the emotional as well as physical aspects of this disease. As for the cause of his Crohn's-I'm no doctor, but it ain't reflux pills. I have both-Prilosec made my colitis better, even though it's not supposed to. I think mine was caused by ibuprofen, but can't prove it. Tweaking the diet can work wonders. I eat a lot of breakfast type foods. Avoid too much steak, salad, etc. CCFA is an awesome resource. Your support and love can be very important emotionally-trust me.

 Reply posted for JOSIAH91107.

you no he might be right i was taking meds for acide feflux for two year problems got worse five weeks ago they say i have crohns now so on thisw one i have to agree as for the steaks i dont no im still trying to figure out what to eat