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Kids growing up, how do I explain whats going on


Sat, September 15, 2012 11:36 PM

I have 4 smaller kids all about a year apart and under the age of 10.  How in the world do I help them cope with what goes on with me? 

FPO poopsucks
Joined Sep 15, 2012

Mon, October 15, 2012 3:56 PM

 Reply posted for Poopsucks.

Hello! I feel like we both are in the same pool when it comes to children. My son is 7 years old and had to start dealing with me being sick with Chron's for the past 2 years. I try to stay positive around him and let him know that I am doing well. I am not on remission currently so when I do get the pains and aches I excuse myself to lay in agony  in my bedroom while my husband distracts him. I do not know if it is good advice or not.
 My son does worry about me a lot and is afraid that I won't be around when he becomes a grown up. That is a lot to think of when you are a child, but he worries that he won't have a mommy to take care of him. I live my life day by day and try to make the most of it. As long as I keep smiling and do what I can for him it makes it worth fighting through the pain. Take care and have a good day.

Maddy

FPO madwater07
Joined Oct 15, 2012

Sun, September 16, 2012 8:29 PM

 Reply posted for Poopsucks.

Kids are very perceptive, especially to how mommy is feeling. They take their cues from you and the people supporting you, so if you present it as handling challenges with a positive attitude they will be okay with it. My kids are now in their twenties. The worst times of my disease were when they were ages 4-8 (surgery, multiple hospitalizations, etc). They tell me now that they don't remember being afraid or worried about me. They knew I was being taken care of and they were being taken care of by daddy and friends and family. The other positive thing for them is that they grew up knowing that plans can change on short notice and to be flexible. They are also amazingly compassionate kids. My best advice is to be honest but with a positive attitude.

FPO suez
Joined Sep 15, 2012

Sun, September 16, 2012 11:43 AM

 Reply posted for Poopsucks.

Wow, four kids under the age of ten......that's a lot of work ( I can only begin to imagine, I've got 2 and I struggle), good for you!
My best advice is to be honest with them.   We had the opposite here because it was one of my daughters who was dx w/CD (at age 4).  So it was a lot of explaining in simple terms as to Liz's "special belly", why she needed to go to the doc so often, labs, meds, supplements, dietary changes, etc.  It has been 8 years now and CD is just part of our lives, its the norm.  We've also become involved with the cause, raising money through annual walks, she goes to camp, and we try to even raise some extra $$ on our own for the research andcamp.    
It wasn't 'tl 5 years ago that I was diagnosed too.   We all have good days and bad, they understand.

All the best,
Lizzies Mom 

FPO lizzies mom
Joined Sep 9, 2009

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