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College caretaker losing everything


Sun, September 08, 2013 1:46 PM

Hi all, my bf hasn't been officially diagnosed but has been bed ridden for over a month now & has been to the hospital 4 times. We are both engineering students so already the stress is high. Him & I have been together for 7 years so I try everything in my power to make things as easy as possible for him during this time but I feel I'm starting to lose control of my life. My friends are sick of hearing about the bf who doctors can't say what is wrong, & I am losing my ability to stay focused on school & have lost a ton of weight due to stress. I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel & I'm desperate for some help. I'm a reincarnated flower child so I try & meditate to calm myself but my anxiety of coming home to find him sick is starting to hit me hard. How do you guys handle the never ending flare cycle? Any advice on care taking too? I make sure he has everything he needs & try to do all house chores & school work where I can but I feel like I too have lost my life because of this disease. 

FPO scm0014
Joined Sep 7, 2013

Tue, November 05, 2013 4:16 PM

 Reply posted for scm0014.

My husband was diagnosed almost 11 years ago just as we started dating in high school.  At first it frightened me thinking of what I would do if he had a flare up while we were together or if he would be sick all the time and it would destroy our relationship.  I've learned over the years to take cues from him.  He knows what a good day and bad day is and whether we can go out or if we should stay home.  I think it's great that you're taking some of the weight off his shoulders when he's having a bad day but also remember that he needs his independence and may want to be left alone during a flare up or a not-so-good day (let's face it, some of the symptoms can be pretty embarrassing).  The toughest part is that there is nothing you can do to take away the physical symptoms when they hit but you can be there for him emotionally.

Take it a day at a time and it'll get better as you both learn more about the disease and how it affects him personally.  

Best wishes to you both.

FPO bobyn42
Joined Nov 5, 2013

Thu, October 03, 2013 12:35 PM

 Reply posted for scm0014.

I feel your pain. 

FPO k1mm1
Joined Oct 3, 2013

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