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New here, and I'm LIVID!


Tue, October 05, 2010 9:17 PM

Hi!  My name is Jess, and my son Michael (9 years old) was diagnosed with Crohn's about a year ago. After a lot of experimenting, we finally have him on a good drug regimen (Remicade and Methotrexate) that keeps him in remission.

The reason why I am livid is his teacher!    Mike is in the 4th grade, and being a good mother I initiated contact with his teacher prior to the start of the school year to let him know about the few extra requirements Mike has.  He was great about all that, but then I just got an email from him regarding an incident that occured today:  he started smelling "poop" in the classroom, and it was really strong - so he assumed Mike had an accident.  He questioned him in the hallway, and Mike let him know it was not him.  He didn't believe him and told him to go to the nurse, and called the nurse to let her know what to check him for.  Mike, being totally humiliated by this point, didn't go to the nurse and just came back to class since he knew he didn't have an accident.  the nurse called the classroom, wondering where Mike was, and the teacher grilled my son til he admitted he didn't go there the first time, and Mike was forced to go to the nurse for an examination. 

Of course, after being subjected to that humiliation the nurse let the teacher know that whatever he was smelling was not my son - so THEN and only then did he go around to the other kids to figure out who the smell was coming from (it turns out that some other kid, a totally healthy 4th grader) had pooped his pants and didn't say or do anything about it). 

I am pissed because 1) he automatically assumed the kid with Crohn's was the cause of the smell, and 2) he didn't believe my son when he adamantly denied having had an accident, and 3) he didn't seem to get clued in to the fact that the smell remained after my kid left the room.

He seems apologetic, but that doesn't help my kid be less embarassed !

FPO bubbabearzle
Joined Nov 27, 2009

Thu, October 07, 2010 6:32 PM

 Reply posted for bubbabearzle.

OH Jess...I wish I could give you and Michael I big (((((HUG)))))!

Just do what you do to make your son feel confident w/himself...I'm sure you're doing a great job...last year they called my Victor (9) the "backpack" kid since he would take his wipies and a set of undies just in case...the kids started a rumor about him pooping his pants...BOY!!!! I was mad...I went to lunch the next day and made sure I told all his classmates that Victor does not have accidents any more than any one of you! After that...the kids left my kid alone...believe me..."Mamma Bear" is fierce...lol!

This past year we moved to Honolulu and the teachers and school were totally insensitive and rude...I took him out and we now homeschool until we move back to Texas where he will return to public school.

Good Luck and if Michael wants to email Victor let me know...it is nice to have the kids know they are not alone. Victor was diagnosed w/Colitis last Jan.

FPO victorsmom
Joined Feb 17, 2010

Wed, October 06, 2010 10:39 AM

 Reply posted for bubbabearzle.

I can see why you are livid.  I'm shaking and furious just reading this story.  I am shaking my head thinking how in the world is the guy a teacher???  He seems like he has absolutely no empathy whatsoever.  I would 100% go to the principal.  Hopefully the principal isn't as bad, who knows.  That teachers needs to apoligize 100% to your son in front of the principal.  I'd tell my kids doctor what happened too.  Maybe they have heard situations like that too.  (My daughter's IBD specialist had a social worker working with her too and had so many good ideas).  I can't imagine the humilation your son went through.  He's 9 and will rememember this.  I'm hoping this horrible experience will somehow become something he can learn from.  My daughter had to write 2 essays to be admitted to college and maybe he will be able to write about this experience to turn it into something positive in the future like helping others or becoming a teacher so no kid would have to have a teacher like his, etc.  I think you 100% need a 504 plan to protect him.  I really can't believe the nerve of that teacher and then treating that other boy differently.  I wish so much the doctor could come into the class and explain Crohn's and Colitis to the class but I know that wouldn't happen.  It sounds like the teacher has no idea about this disease and needs a little education himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Let us know what happens.

FPO ez
Joined Nov 9, 2008

Wed, October 06, 2010 7:35 AM

 Reply posted for bubbabearzle.

504 Plan or not, this is UNACCEPTABLE!!   A meeting should be scheduled today w/principal AND teacher.   Based on your feelings during/after meeting, decide if the Superintendant should be brought in........I think it couldn't hurt.   Personally, I'd have all their butts on the carpet.......humiliate them, after all, they didn't think twice of humiliating your son.

As for the most important aspect....your son......I am lost for words.  I don't know if there is anything the teacher, nurse, principal, school can do to restore his belief in the system.  Afterall, these are the people that are supposed to be there to protect and care for him when he isn't w/mom and family.  I encourage you to continue what I am sure you are best at....be there for him.   He may, may not want to talk about it....let him lead the way.

Lizzies Mom

FPO lizzies mom
Joined Sep 9, 2009

Tue, October 05, 2010 9:27 PM

 Reply posted for bubbabearzle.

I am FURIOUS for you and for your son.  That is terrible!!!  Does your son have a 504?  I think he needs one.  You can spell out how you are going to handle this in the future.  If he does have one, this cannot be how things are supposed to go!!!


In the meantime, I think you should go directly to the principal.  That is just horrifying.  My heart is broken for you and for your son.  There was no reason for that humiliation.  

My daughter is 7, not quite as old as your son but he-- hath no fury like a mad mother.  Or other empathetic ones on a forum.  

There is no excuse for what happened to your son today!!!!

Let us know how it goes.

Claire's Mom

FPO azmom
Joined Jul 20, 2009

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